ABSENCE
I visited the place where we last met.
Nothing was changed, the gardens were well-tended,
The fountains sprayed their usual steady jet;
There was no sign that anything had ended
And nothing to instruct me to forget.

The thoughtless birds that shook out of the trees,
Singing an ecstasy I could not share,
Played cunning in my thoughts. Surely in these
Pleasures there could not be a pain to bear
Or any discord shake the level breeze.

It was because the place was just the same
That major absence seem a savage force,
For under all the gentleness there came
An earthquake tremor: fountains, birds and grass
Were shaken by my thinking of your name.
By: Elizabeth Jennings

“Father, everything is so different but it’s just the same,” were the words that came tumbling out of the mouth of a man who had just confessed (not in sacramental confession) that this was the first time in over 25 years that he had entered a Catholic Church.
“I visited the place where we last met.” We had a brief conversation where I invited him to a deeper talk about faith and how we could help him “rediscover” his Catholic faith. The poem above, by Elizabeth Jennings, expresses the beauty of an unfailing truth of God’s love…He never changes…He waits through my absence…He invites me to be with him where I am shaken “by my thinking of your name.” The timelessness of God’s love is ever new in the hearts of all people because we believe God sees and proclaims the goodness of creation through his son, Jesus Christ.
The above conversation and the poem both reminded me of the journey of truth and faith we walk as disciples of Jesus Christ. We all have the experience of walking into a house, a room or a place and the flood of memories overwhelm us. These memories can be good or bad but they bring a moment of time back with such clarity where nothing seems to have changed. Our journey of faith and truth calls us to re-remember the moments of grace where the presence of God overwhelmed us and feel the earthquake of faith rattle us awake again.
Two of these places in my life are very different but the same. The first is the parish church of St. Anthony in Greencreek Idaho. This is the parish of my Baptism, First Communion and Confirmation and while during my high school years I went to the other local parishes, depending on my family and time of Mass, St. Anthony’s always brings back a deepness of God’s presence differently than any other church. It is not anything specific and certainly things have changed and yet there is also a presence of faith, memory and truth the cry out as the grace filled moments roll over in the soul. It is a place where faith and family reside as the hours of prayer and play intertwined as parents and adults chatted and children ran free. It may be a romanticized memory but a memory none-the-less of God’s goodness in love.
The second place is the ocean…I know that’s a big place…but maybe more specifically the coast where the waves meet the land. To hear and see the sound and power of the ocean, whether it be the storms of the Washington state coast or the Santa Cruz beaches each time I sit and watch the power and hear the roar the life of the savage force under a gentle glass of the ocean spread across the horizon moves my soul to the greatness of God’s creation.
I think Elizabeth Jennings’ gets it right in the words of “Absence” where she reminds us of the power of love and how memory draws us back into a place of love. And while we often fall out of love with God through willful sin we are invited back through the gift of these same memories. The gentlemen above who confessed his absence talked about how the hurts of his life: the death of family and friends, the loss of work and home, the wandering in sin, was always tempered by his knowing a memory of love dwelling deep within his soul, a memory he was never able to forget. We may not wander far or loose deep love but we all know loss it is in these moments we are called to remember and seek to find true healing and joy to fill the absence with God’s name.

Please pray for the continued sanctification, purification and healing of our Catholic Church.
And may the two newest saints, this Saturday October 13 be always examples of true love of God. St. Pope Paul VI…pray for us. St. Oscar Romero…pray for us.

God bless,
Fr. Mark