No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. [And] be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. (Eph 4:29-32)
This past week I have been watching a short video series “A Lent to Remember: A Lenten Encounter with Mercy” found our formed.org about the gift of reconciliation/forgiveness and the blessing of the Sacrament of Reconciliation through God’s grace of forgiveness. It placed before my mind the above words of Sacred Scripture from St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians. It had been a sin I had held for many years, as a young man, a Marine and filled with the words of society I used foul language a lot…I mean a lot. Especially in Marine Corps, the words were almost as natural as breathing in daily conversation. At one point in my life I knew this had to end. It was through the Sacrament of Confession, daily prayer and some wonderful help from friends that I was able to curb this foul habit in my life. I am still a sinner, and on the odd occasion I will say a word that I regret but truth be told, I can’t remember, off the golf course, the last time I used one of these swear words.
One confessor’s advice I remember and still use today with many people who confess this sin is the reality of beauty and ugliness. God desire for us is beauty and with our words we are called to place beauty in the world. We can think of the great poems and literature where words create a magical scene beyond belief, but we also know that the profane can do just he opposite. In choosing to put beauty into the world we begin to walk closer to God and do His will in the world.
That’s the good news…we can conquer sin with God’s grace, prayer and support. This is the bad news…St Paul continues on from the edict “No foul language should come out of your mouths.” That is the easy part, or at least it is for me, because while I may limit my foul language, what about “bitterness, fury, anger, shouting and reviling…with all malice” Oh how I need to go to confession again. These are the ones that are easy to justify because more often than not they are pointed directly at someone or a group of people who have “done us wrong!” These are my greater sins and the ones that need healing. I remember how this was pointed out to me during my college years at Holy Names College (now University) in Oakland. I was in my final year and one of my philosophy professors, Dr. Richard Yee, called me aside and scolded me with gentleness and compassion about my words to another student in class. He simply, in so many words, told me he expected better. It was hard to hear but also important because the malice can grow like a cancer and begin to infect so many different relationships. You can see two examples below with links to of how anger infects and ultimately can destroy the sacramental relationship of marriage.
In reality St. Paul’s challenge to the Ephesians remains our challenge today. How do we speak with kindness, compassion, gentleness, mercy and love to those around us and let go of the sins that hold us apart? During this Lenten season we may choose to “fast” from these sins and embrace the cross of love. To share in the goodwill of God for all. Fr. Jacques Philippe writes this beautiful reflection, ”Here, then, is what we mean by goodwill. It is not perfection, nor sainthood achieved, because it could well coexist without hesitations, imperfections and even faults. But it is the way, because it is just this habitual disposition of heart (whose foundation is found in the virtues of faith hope and love), which permits the grace of God to carry us, little by little, toward perfection.” (p 17, “Searching for and Maintaining Peace)
God Bless
Fr. Mark
www.formed.org (see parish website for free code) yes FREE CODE
The 7 phases of anger in marriage
https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/whats-destroying-some-catholic-marriages-the-answer-may-surprise-you-57498