A Pope, a Bishop and a Priest

Life, Love and Chidren

 

 

It’s as natural as the birds and the bees…there’s a new world out there…here we go again. The Catholic Church believes in marriage. The Catholic Church believes in children. The Catholic Church believes and hopes for the blessing of children in happy and holy marriages. But there is a deep and dark secret…the Catholic Church does not always act on the words of encouragement in supporting families, especially young married families with children.
This is where the missionary work of Marriage Encounter and other groups of lay faithful find the great struggle: how can we proclaim the joy and fruitfulness of marriage and be turned away? We can point to countless first hand and antidotal examples as well as a plethora of written work of young families who have been shut out of the life of the Church as they search for God within their families. It is often only the very brave and very persistent who make it through this gauntlet of rejection. Pope Francis understood this when he issued the challenger in “Amoris Laetitia” “The Church is called to cooperate with parents…She must always do this by helping them to appreciate their proper role and to realize that by their reception of the sacrament of marriage they become ministers of their children’s education.” (#85 AL) Do we believe this?
As a parish priest and a presenting priest for Marriage Encounter I walk the line of hypocrisy all the time. I often talk the talk without seeking the resources in my own parish to walk the walk. We know through our experience of the weekend that couples who seek God in their relationships are happier and holier, thus better spouses, better parents and member of the greater community. Each of us can testify to this in our own sacramental relationship. We know this is the best and most fruitful path for all married couples because we know God wants this blessing in world. Bishop Fulton Sheen writes about the cycles of love moving back and forth that find the grace of God they only true answer, “In family life, in like manner, two hearts do not move on a roadway to a happier love, rather every now and then they seem to be on the brink of losing their love, only to find it on a higher level. ” (p 154 GM)
We know that happy, holy and emotionally healthy couples make great marriages, great parents and fruitful members of our Church community. We also know the huge and constant struggle to convince the Church and couples that this is indeed true. In the Sacrament of Reconciliation I will often hear both husband and wife confess and know that their actions as well as those of their spouse are bringing injury into their “little church” and yet to even open their eyes to the possibility of a Weekend is more daunting than I had ever imagined.
We all know the excuses as we try and remind them of Fr. Gallagher great advice, the “We are not isolated entities. Human fulfillment and satisfaction in life cannot be defined merely in achievement of individual goals.” (p 26 ME) So how do we continue to invite and invite and invite…it is by doing this very small but evangelical ministry of invitation were we engage joyfully in the missionary ministry of the Church. It is not hopeless work but rather faithful work even in the most trying moments. It is the reminder that I take to heart over and over again when I look upon the photo of the two great modern saints, John Paul II and Theresa of Calcutta standing together with eyes alight, smiles of whimsy and grace showing forth the joy the Gospel resonating with love.
If we show this face, this heart and this soul then, even when the Church says come back later, the couples deny the time needed and our Marriage Encounter community struggles, we will know with joy the work of God we are doing within the brokenness of the world.

“Amoris Laetitia: The Joy of Love” Pope Francis (2016) (AL)

“The Marriage Encounter” Fr. Chuck Gallagher, SJ (1975) (ME)

“Three to Get Married” Bishop Fulton Sheen (1951) (GM)

“The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage” Dr. Allen Hunt (2015) (USM)

“Love Is Our Family: The Family Fully Alive” USCCB (2014) (LOF)