This Sunday, February 12th, the Catholic Church celebrate “World Marriage Day.” It is a day to honor and thank all those members of our family and community who witness daily to the sacrificial love of Sacramental Marriage.
“Are you spiritually healthy? Are you alive spiritually? Are you thriving are you just surviving? When we are spiritually healthy we tend to be focused, invigorated, patient, and generous. when we aren’t healthy spiritually we ten to be irritable, restless, and discontented..” (p 43) Yes we have taken a step back and gone once more to Chapter 9 in “Resisting Happiness”. I had a parishioner recently talk with me about the book and he said, “this book is a year long read.” I responded, “It should be a book we re-practice every year.” Because if we simply read it and set it down without practicing the steps and challenges outlined throughout the book, then it will be a nice memory…but not a lasting gift.
I chose the quote above because too often in my ministry as a priest and working with married couples in Worldwide Marriage Encounter I hear this echoed in their marital life. “We seem to be just surviving. My husband/wife is always irritable, angry, unloving.” and many other phrases to this point.
This of course is not what marriage is or was meant to be. Much as in any other facet of life, we have good habits to to good things, so in marriage we must also develop good habits to do good things. If we habitually criticize our wife or husband, then slowly the flame of hope and desire will be lessened in the relationship. If, on the other hand, we speak words of blessings habitually to our beloved, then the flame of love increases and grows.
But recognizing that we are human, therefore sinners, therefore need help in growing, seeking and maintaining habits of love we need God in the marriage. It is as simple as that. But we always seek to complicate matters. Our spiritual life, which feeds the life of our vocation, married, single, priest and religious, helps us to un-complicate our love and relational journey.
Just a couple of really quick spiritual/relational ideas…
1. If we spend quality time with God each day this should draw us to quality time with our beloved each day.
2. If we spend time with God each day in intimate conversations (prayer) then this should lead us to spend time with our spouse in intimate conversation daily.
3. If we take time learning more about our faith then we should take time learning more about our husband/wife, often called listening.
4. If we find joy in knowing God then we should share this joy continually with the gift God shares with us in the act of sacramental love.
It can become those habits of blessing where we pray with God and spouse, no explanation needed. Where we speak with God and spouse, it’s not about a list of what we did but the sharing of hopes, dreams, the vision of life united in love. Where we take time together, sharing walks, date nights, weekends away, filling the well of love. And ultimately where we share the completeness of who we are in the sacramental joy of love.
I leave you with a few words from Archbishop Fulton Sheen, taking about the ideal of love. There are also a few opportunities to strengthen your marriage with the links and information listed below.
“Everyone believes in the eternity of love, and eternal love is found only in God. To just the extent that the sparks of earthly love are stolen from the great heart and hearth of God does earthly love remain abiding. They who posses this “fides” every now and then are cast into the ecstasy of love and are lifted to a higher dimension of ravishing affection, but knowing its Source and Origin, they whisper to themselves in sweet anticipation of heaven: “If the spark is so great, oh, “what must be the flame!”” (p 132 from “Three to Get Married” by Fulton Sheen)
God bless
Fr. Mark
Lenten Retreat: Practicing the Works of Mercy in Marriage – March 4th
Need the perfect gift for your spouse this Valentine’s Day? Give your beloved the gift of your time and love by attending a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend. The next Marriage Encounter Weekend is March 17-19, 2017 in Mountain View. For more information visit our website at: http://sanjosewwme.org or contact Ken Claranne at applications@sanjosewwme.org or 408-782-1413.
https://stca.org/blessed-and-beautiful