I was blessed to celebrate a funeral Mass for an elderly woman this past week. She was never married and her niece and nephew were helping with the arrangements. She had for the past eight years suffered from Alzheimer’s disease and for the last five years had been unable to attend Mass at the parish.
As we planned her funeral her niece remarked that only a few people would be at Mass because of her age and family…perhaps as few as three. She also said several times how important her Aunt’s faith was in her life and very emphatically that this, the funeral Mass, would have been what she wanted and what she deserved. You cannot know how her conviction, to do what her Aunt would have done, warmed the faith of my heart.
As we come to this Jubilee Year of Mercy in our Catholic Church we focus this month on both a Spiritual and Corporal Work of Mercy: Praying for the Living and the Dead (Spiritual Work) and To Bury the Dead (Corporal Work). The encounter described above focuses this simple Corporal Work in a wonderful light. We seek to honor those who have died in a dignified manner, respecting both their wishes as they lived but also treating the body with blessing, recognizing it as the temple of the Holy Spirit.
Speaking with others about your wishes at the time of death, giving instructions through a Will or other document or planning your funeral before you die is not morbid or fatalistic rather it is recognizing a blessing received, life, and seeking to help your friends and relatives honor your life as a son or daughter of God. The Diocese of San Jose asks me, and all priests, to place in our files a copy of our funeral plans as a way of helping to celebrate the Funeral Mass with joy and blessing.
We need to remember that we are anticipating something greater as we pass from death to life in our Lord Jesus. The small fruits of heaven we have tasted on earth are bound to the greatest fruits attained in the presence of our God. In honoring the dead through prayer and burial we join in the heavenly hosts joyous reception of the soul of our beloved in anticipation of the second coming of Jesus.
That’s the theological but as I noted above the decision to celebrate this woman’s life with a funeral Mass warmed my heart because too often I have been saddened by a family who chooses not to celebrate the life, faith and love of a their deceased relative. In doing so, often leaving friends and fellow parishioners unable to join in recognizing the joyous blessing that God shared with us on earth in the person of the one who died.
Let me clear, no funeral is easy. I understand this deeply. Two of the most difficult and heart wrenching moments in my life have been at the death of my father, Maynard and my younger brother Mitch. In both cases, even in the sorrow and sadness, the celebration of the Funeral Mass brought the memory of their life into clearer focus as we prayed together and listened to the stories of life. For me, it is remembering the image of the upper room after Jesus’ death, crammed with his apostles, his mother and his disciples…all friends…I can only imagine the stories, the laughter, the tears, the prayers, the songs and the meals they shared as they waited.
As Christians we know that their wait was not in vain, rather their gathering and being together as one, ultimately brought true life back into their hearts. It is the same gift of life the Jesus offers us today. Let us pray.
God Bless
Fr. Mark