Pope Francis says some remarkable things…and he also says some remarkably confusing things. The media world was abuzz with this one phrase, “the great majority of our sacramental marriages are null.” Oh my. He later amended his remarks to state “a portion” and not a great majority. This is still a remarkable statement. Many people have been dissecting Pope Francis’ words but I would suggest that we read them in light of Amoris Laetitia and the greater understanding of marriage.   I think if we look at it in this light then the words become less likely to shock us and more likely to spur us forward in hopefulness and faith.

 

In Chapter 6 of the Exhortation the Holy Father talks about the pastoral aspects about marriage and the man and woman preparing their life for marriage. It is a candid and forthright discussion of the realities of married life and how we, as the people of God, can support and grow the depth of love and understanding within the family.

 

Hope is the leaven that, in those first years of engagement and marriage, makes it possible to look beyond arguments, conflicts and problems and to see things in a broader perspective. It harnesses our uncertainties and concerns so that growth can take place. Hope also bids us live fully in the present, giving our all to the life of the family, for the best way to prepare a solid future is to live well in the present. (219) The gift of hope Pope Francis talks about is the ongoing growth of love. We understand all relationship, whether it is between us and God, husband and wife or the friendships that enter our life, are all on a growth pattern we individually experience. All married couples experience this blessing as it looks toward a future. The love of husband and wife naturally grows and the understanding of the reality of marriage also takes on a deeper meaning.

 

This process occurs in various stages that call for generosity and sacrifice. The first powerful feelings of attraction give way to the realization that the other is now a part of my life. The pleasure of belonging to one another leads to seeing life as a common project, putting the other’s happiness ahead of my own, and realizing with joy that this marriage enriches society (220) Pope Francis’ statement about marriage occurs as the process of stages. It is the process that moves through initial attraction to the stage of courting, engagement and finally the growth of marriage that creates the fertile field of faith and love where the common dreams of life become united in the husband and wife growing in understanding about the truth of marriage. This is the gift of the mystery of love where the search for the other invites us to “take” the other into our deepest heart as the man and woman pray on their wedding day.

 

Each marriage is a kind of “salvation history”, which from fragile beginnings –thanks to God’s gift and a creative and generous response on our part – grows over time into something precious and enduring. Might we say that the greatest mission of two people in love is to help one another become, respectively, more a man and more a woman? Fostering growth means helping a person to shape his or her own identity. Love is thus a kind of, craftsmanship…At every new stage, they can keep “forming” one another. Love makes each wait for the other with the patience of a craftsman, a patience which comes from God. (221) While some couples may not fully understand the Sacrament they become in marriage, there is the “forming” of the greater self which marriage engenders in the other. This is where the remarkable sentence of our Holy Father becomes clearer. As a priest, prepared intentionally and rigorously to become the Sacrament that I am, I too continue to grow in my understanding of how I am called to be part of salvation history as a priest. The married couple, prepared (maybe not as rigorously) too often within the greater influence of modern society also must continue to grow and be formed in the understanding of the sacramental nature of their unique and life giving love as husband and wife.

 

We are all works in progress. Pope Francis’ comment was not a condemnation of many marriages rather, I believe, it is a challenge to the Church, her ministers, and all married couples to seek to continue to grow into the blessing of grace we are called to be in God’s eyes.

 

God Bless

Fr. Mark