What is your intention? This is a question that we often ask others but it should also be a question that we place in front of our self during our daily acts of service, sacrifice and love. As Christians our intentions should always be directed towards growth in holiness and unity with God and the people of God (the Church). I know this in my heart but it is very often hard to put into practice. Do I have to sit down before each decision and “really” think about my intentions? The simple answer is YES. Don’t panic because it really isn’t that hard. Jesus gives us this guidance, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.“(Lk 16:10a) in other words, if we form our conscience well in doing the small things then the intentions we have as we choose right from wrong becomes clearer and we then act upon these intentions with confidence and joy in doing the right thing.
This is especially true in our relationships, between husband and wife in a unique way, but also with each and every relationship that we share in our lives. Husbands and wives are entrusted with much in their choosing the sacramental call to be united as one in Jesus Christ and because of this they must be attentive to their intentions in the small acts of sacrificial love. The below quote from Pope Francis’ recent Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia gives us a glimpse into the teaching of the Church.
The Second Vatican Council, in its Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et Spes, was concerned “to promote the dignity of marriage and the family”(47-52). The Constitution “defined marriage as a community of life and love (cf. 48), placing love at the centre of the family… ‘True love between husband and wife’ (49) involves mutual self-giving, includes and integrates the sexual and affective dimensions, in accordance with God’s plan (cf. 48-49)”. The conciliar document also emphasizes “the grounding of the spouses in Christ. Christ the Lord ‘makes himself present to the Christian spouses in the sacrament of marriage’ (48) and remains with them. In the incarnation, he assumes human love, purifies it and brings it to fulfillment. By his Spirit, he gives spouses the capacity to live that love, permeating every part of their lives of faith, hope and charity. In this way, the spouses are consecrated and by means of a special grace build up the Body of Christ and form a domestic church, so that the Church, in order fully to understand her mystery, looks to the Christian family, which manifests her in a real way”. (#67) [all numbers inside the quote refer to Gaudium et Spes]
A few phrases and words struck me as very blessed, (1) mutual self-giving: It is not a one-way street in the blessing of love. Giving and receiving are not a tit-for-tat negotiation but rather a choosing to give in trust knowing the intention of the other is for your good and growth in holiness. (2) grounded in Christ: When we choose to be united with Christ then our intention will always be in seeking the good in the other. Choosing to act in ways to bless and lift up our spouse in true love that draws forth his/her holiness. (3) the spouses are consecrated: God blesses each of us but in the unique grace of the Sacrament of Marriage, the man and woman are consecrated to each other. They are in marriage made for each other in service where their intention, through God, is to be united as one in holiness and grace.
Once more, this is not an impossible task rather it is the fruit of the intention of holiness in acting towards the other in life. It is doing the work daily in the small acts of love that flow forth into the greater acts of love. It is growing in virtue of love as we encounter the other in our life with patience, gentleness and understanding. The humility to grow in love requires we work in the field of love. “Indeed, it is the daily practice of these virtues that draws couples into deeper connection with God. As theologian Richard R. Gaillardetz describes, “The spiritual challenge of our lives lies not in desperately setting aside moments for God alongside the other activities and commitments of our lives, but rather that of discovering within our basic human activities and commitments the possibility for communion with God.” We are invited daily to open our eyes to the presence of God, not despite the complex and often busy lives we have as couples and families, but through the relationships and commitments that mark our days.” (p. 47-48 from Project Holiness)
God Bless
Fr. Mark