All of us who have attended a Catholic wedding often hear St. Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13:4-7 proclaimed as the ideal of love that God shows towards his people. This passage is presented to the soon to be married couple and congregation as the goal and hope of married love. Pope Francis in this Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia does every priest and deacon throughout the whole world a wonderful favor…he gives us enough homily material to last several life times of celebrating weddings through sharing the truth of God’s love and how we are to live that love in relationship to Him and for the man and woman joined in marriage, how they are called to live that love in a very special and blessed way.
I am jumping ahead a in my reflections over Amoris Laetitia for the simple reason: the Spiritual Work of Mercy: Counsel the Doubtful. This month we are focusing during the Year of Mercy on this wonderful work. Counseling the doubtful fits well with the text of the Exhortation because I believe Pope Francis is reaching out to those who are doubtful of the reality of love: a lasting and permanent love, a love that exceeds expectations and a love that grows ever richer and deeper as time passes, a love that many believe is not possible in this time and place. To Counsel the Doubtful is to encourage with words and works of blessing and hope the shared experience of the struggle to love deeply and live the sacrificial gift of giving one’s self to another with trust in the holiness and goodness of the other.
In chapter 4 of the Exhortation Pope Francis share the following words of wisdom; “Patience takes root when I recognize that other people also have a right to live in this world, just as they are. It does not matter if they hold me back, if they unsettle my plans, or annoy me by the way they act or think, or if they are not everything I want them to be. Love always has an aspect of deep compassion that leads to accepting the other person as part of this world, even when he or she acts differently than I would like.” (92)
When we counsel the doubtful it becomes the ultimate act of patience. Many times in counseling, and especially during the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I listen to the word of doubt, the words that often speak of the uncertainty of love, forgiveness and hope. The words of doubt which become the stumbling block for the acceptance of our Lord’s grace and blessing in our lives. The words of compassion and truth, that each and every one of us is the unique and holy gift from God and He sees us in the wonder of love, looking through our blemishes and hurts to witness His glory that rests in each one of us when we choose to give ourselves over to the healing mercy of our Divine Love.
We act through God’s healing mercy when we choose to be attentive to the other in love. In this counsel, we begin to show and see the blessings of life that surround us as our patient response to love allows the interplay of life to unfold and grow through the cracks and crevices of sin and hurt into the wondrous garden of love. The gift of attentiveness in the relationship helps us to understand our unique value in the truth of how God calls us to be blessings of love and truth. Relationship, especially between husband and wife, is always sacrificial in its nature as it forms the lasting bond of being cherished in how God created us to be: holy and blessed in love.
God bless
Fr. Mark