Forgive me Father, for I have sinned….

Surely, I wait for the LORD;
who bends down to me and hears my cry,
Draws me up from the pit of destruction, out of the muddy clay,
Sets my feet upon rock,
steadies my steps, (from Psalm 40:2-3)

When we talk about the spiritual life it can often be described in terms that are jarring to the ear but speak truth to the heart. I was reflecting on Psalm 40 for the past couple of weeks trying to focus my soul on God’s beauty and mercy. A couple weeks ago my penance given to me by my confessor was to pray a psalm and when opened my Bible to look for a particular psalm, not Psalm 40, I noticed several verses underlined in Psalm 40 so my eyes paused and I began to pray the psalm and this has been my reflection and my penance for the past few weeks.
Sin can seem to be like being stuck in a pit and like walking through muddy clay. It at first doesn’t seem to hard to climb your way out or to walk to your destination but the more and more you try the walls become slicker and the boots become more and more caked with heavy mud with each step. And we believe as Catholics that the Sacrament of Reconciliation and pray releases us and give us a “helping hand” to climb out of the pit and shake the mud off the boots.

And puts a new song in my mouth,
a hymn to our God.
Many shall look on in fear
and they shall trust in the LORD. (Ps 40:4)

But this takes time and much spiritual and psychological effort in changing the directions because while the helping hand is extended and the boots are cleansed we still are only beginning the climb and we must continue to walk towards the true destination of holiness and union with Jesus Christ. Trusting in Jesus during this moment is hard but extremely necessary but so very hard to do…
We see Jesus easily ascend from the pit and his steps through the muddy clay don’t seem to make an impression. He, with love and mercy, invites us to climb with him to walk with him, in trust, but how often do we respond, even after knowing his healing mercy, say, “I can do it!” like a petulant 2 year old.

You, yes you, O LORD, my God,
have done many wondrous deeds!
And in your plans for us
there is none to equal you.
Should I wish to declare or tell them,
too many are they to recount. (Ps 40:6)

And yet when I return again to confession, to ask that my particular sins be forgiven: our loving Father will offer us once more full and complete forgiveness. Why? God’s plan for us is so much greater and demands something greater, union with Him, that is wondrous and beyond words but demand to be told by our lives. Knowing his plan for me is a stark and strong reminder of the temptation for complacency or the attitude of permissiveness to enter into the temptations surrounding me and temptations surrounding all of us. To recount God’s blessings is not to live in the sin He has released me from but rather to fully embrace the holiness, the call to be a saint, which is God’s plan for me. Allowing my fears to be replaced by the confidence and trust of allowing the mercy, forgiveness and reconciliation of Jesus to help me to climb out and walk through the traps of life.

Sacrifice and offering you do not want;
you opened my ears.
Holocaust and sin-offering you do not request;
so I said, “See; I come
with an inscribed scroll written upon me. (Ps 40:7)

In the sacramental grace of mercy and reconciliation we can become the scroll upon which is written the laws of love and we live as open books shining forth the generosity of God for all to see. As the writer of Hebrews reminds us in echoing the promises made by the prophets, “The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First He says: “This is the covenant I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord. I will put My laws in their hearts and inscribe them on their minds.” Then He adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” (Heb 10:15-17)
The gratitude and gift of perseverance for the grace and mercy received is life giving and allows us to reach out again and again. Carrying the law of God, the Word of God—Jesus Christ on our hearts strengthens and spurs us on to the greater gifts God has in store for His sons and daughters. The pits of mire and the paths of sodden clay become less deep and drier as we begin to avoid the near occasions of sin and place ourselves in the bright sun light of Christ love. this is our hope and the promise Jesus makes when we in sincerity of heart cry out….Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Though I am afflicted and poor,
my Lord keeps me in mind.
You are my help and deliverer;
my God, do not delay! (Ps 40:18)

God Bless,
Fr. Mark