When people, even Catholics, hear the word “chastity” they often laugh, ridicule and make jokes about this Christian virtue. Chastity is often conflated with celibacy and often thought of as something odd and strange in our modern world where sating the desires of the flesh with quick pleasure and immediate activity often takes the place of a deeper and fuller life in the community.
So let’s begin with a quick quote from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man (woman) in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man’s (woman’s) belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman. The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift.” (#2337) So in other words, it is the human person living in relationship with another human person and the relationship becomes an expression of the greater love of God.

Tradition tells us that Mary and Joseph, in their married life, refrained from sexual intimacy. They led chaste and celibate lives. As Archbishop M. De Langalerie writes in “The Month of St. Joseph”, “The special privilege of being called the foster-father of Jesus Christ and the guardian of the Holy Virgin was a reward of Saint Joseph’s virginity, this was also the inexpressible honor given him of having Jesus repose on his virginal heart. By this first example of virginity given to the world, Saint Joseph became the father and guardian of all who make a similar vow.” (p. 108) This did not mean Mary and Joseph did not have a deep and powerful love, rather it was the a love that was both chaste and virginal. It is here we can see how this transfers into marital relationships in general, remembering the above quote from the Catechism and the joy of chaste intimate love.
Like Mary and Joseph, all husbands and wives are called to chastity. But unlike Mary and Joseph, most are not called to virginal chastity, rather they are called to a chaste love where in their sexual intimacy they seek the good and the holy in their spouse and draw forth this gift, that like St. Joseph in his virginal chastity, becomes guardian of the other’s holiness. The sexual intimacy of the married couple becomes an expression of holiness, a prayer of love, because it is directed solely at the good of the beloved…and toward the Beloved. We become who God has created us to be in the sacramental union.

This is where the reality of the nature of both chaste marriage and the chaste celibate life of priests and consecrated religious intersect and mirror each other. Fr. Thomas Dubay, S.M. reminds us that the call to holiness is a universal call and though he is speaking to the celibate life, it mirrors the chaste love of marriage. “For us “holy” refers primarily to moral goodness: humility, patience, gentleness, temperance, honesty. For the ancient Hebrew it referred first of all to closeness to the All-Holy one, to a being set apart from the ordinary creation and reserved in some special manner for the utterly Other, the Lord himself. Yahweh’s people were “holy” not because they excelled in humility or temperance but because they had been called from the ordinary mass of mankind to a special relationship with the one God.” (P 32 from “and you are Christ’s”) This would have been St. Joseph’s understanding, that he had been called to be set apart, not just in virginal chastity but in his special call to holiness as husband of Mary and foster-father to Jesus the Christ and to live out this “vocation” was to be in a special relationship with our Father in heaven. Or as stated above, St. Joseph becomes who he is created to be.
Once more the Catechism reminds us, “The chaste person maintains the integrity of the powers of life and love placed in him. This integrity ensures the unity of the person; it is opposed to any behavior that would impair it. It tolerates neither a double life nor duplicity in speech.” (CCC #2338) What is this “unity of the person”? Simply the soul and body are united in one purpose…the fulfillment of God will in life. We recognize, because I am one of them, some people are called to the vocation of the chaste celibate life as a priest or person in the consecrated religious life. And these vocations need our support and our young people need to hear this support so we all may find fulfillment in following God’s will in our lives. But to return to the main point, chastity is a virtue for all because it is the uniting of the body and soul in a intimate and passionate relationship with God, in marriage through sexual union in the beloved spouse in sacramental grace and blessing, and in celibate chastity through the deep and profound grace of God’s love in community of the Church.
Final word….all are called to holiness and let the example of St. Joseph fills with the call to be in the “special relationship with the one God.”
God bless
Fr. Mark