The past few weeks I have had the great joy and blessing of a visit from my mother. It has become a yearly grace as she escapes from the cold Idaho winter to visit those of us who live in slightly warmer climates. It is cold here in California but our low 30’s at night are nothing to compare to the teens of winter. (In fact as I write this letter my brother, Morris, sent a text where the temp was on the negative side of zero at home in Idaho)
One of the things that become very apparent each visit is that I am still her son, her child and thus am called to an obedience of love that respects this relationship. Even as she and I both age…her at 83 and I at 57 the relationship of mother and son still exists in a very profound way. It is a love that has been built, nurtured, tried and strengthened through the many moments of life: good, bad, ugly and beautiful.

“”Blessed are the poor in spirit.” The Beatitudes reveal an order of happiness and grace, of beauty and peace. Jesus celebrates the joy of the poor, to whom the Kingdom already belongs: The Word speaks of voluntary humility as “poverty in spirit”; the Apostle gives an example of God’s poverty when he says: “For your sakes he became poor.”” (CCC #2546)

It is the humility of spirit in which our relationships are strengthened and made whole. Dietrich von Hildebrand in his little book “Humility: Wellspring of Virtue” writes, “Humility is closely connected with that holy freedom in which we acquire the proper perspective in relation to our own person, regarding ourselves no longer with our own eyes but in the light of God.” (p 49) The spiritual journey in seeing ourselves as sons and daughters of God also opens our eyes to the being of a son and daughter in this world. “Holy freedom” in our spiritual life allows us to seek God in our own way, guided by the Church, entrusted to the mission of God’s people by being as St. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 12 “we are one body but many parts.”
In much the same way parents and children discover a holy freedom when they grow into the holy person, the saint, God has called them to be in their family. We naturally take on different roles within the familial body that when working as one we grow more deeply into a holiness of love and respect. This isn’t easy…perhaps the understatement of the year. Because of sin we can often find ourselves at odds, being hurt and alienated from one another. This is a reality that finds its way into every family.
This is why the nurturing of humility: the holy freedom, the poverty in spirit, the voluntary choosing of being one with others brings us together as one body. if as von Hildebrand entitles his book, humility is the wellspring of all virtue, then the virtues of fortitude and hope move us naturally to the gift of reconciliation and peace in the family. Once again, this isn’t easy…but possible with the help of our heavenly Father. It is when we are able to seek the good of the other, even in the midst of sin that love begins to overcome death. It is a choice we are invited each day to choose.
Does my mom, during her visits, get on my nerves? Yes…but then I am called to go back to the wellspring of virtue and recall the love a mother, the blessings of a mother, the gift of a mother our God has shared and give thanks and listen to God’s whisper of love in the presence of my mother.
GodBless
Fr. Mark