When we are powerless, let us be quiet and let God act. (p 55, “Searching for and Maintaining Peace” by Fr. Jacques Philippe)
This is perhaps the most difficult thing we can do..to be quiet in our powerlessness. It seems so contrary. We want to shout at the injustice. We want to wail at the hurt. We want to cry out in anger. It is the most difficult thing we can do…to be quiet in our powerlessness.
In a world where so many things seem so wrong we are often surrounded by the shouting, the wailing and the crying out in such volume and in so many different directions any action, let alone action restoring peace and justice, seem even more distant and less real in our lives. This is where our Lenten journey must begin, in the silence of the desert.
Cardinal Robert Sarah in his book, “The Power of Silence: Against the Dictatorship of Noise” writes these prophetic words, “Silence is not a form of passivity. By remaining silent, man can avoid a greater evil. It is not an earthly dereliction of duty to place your trust in Heaven.” (#289)
It is in the intimate and chaste silence where we wait for the breath of God we discover the active movement of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The silence of intimacy and chastity invites us into a deeper and fuller understanding of our call to serve in the sacrifice of love.
When I was on retreat at the beginning of the new year I spent a lot of time one afternoon praying and thinking about this gift of silence and of course my thoughts turned to baseball. I don’t know why my prayer life and baseball are so wrapped into one another but this, if you will be patient with me, is an area of minor but (at least for me) fruitful insight.
Baseball is a game of silence in many ways. Much of the communication is done without a word being spoken and more importantly, for this purpose, the in-between moments of the pitching and hitting and fielding happen in silence. But it is a silence with a purpose. As the batter awaits the next pitch his mind needs to be focused on the past and the future at the same time..as does the catcher, pitcher, fielders and those on the bench awaiting their turn at bat. In silence he, the batter, contemplates what will be as he remembers what has been to prepare for the what is happening. If he breaks the intimacy of the moment by allowing other thoughts to intrude upon what “is” he will fail to be able to act by allowing the noise of the crowd, the chatter of the infield, the thoughts of other things to distract and pervert his true course of action.
Cardinal Sarah writes, “Far from noise and easy distractions, in solitude and silence, if we are intent solely on transmitting the Divine will, it will be granted to us to see with God’s eyes and to call things as he perceives and judges them.” (#296) And this is baseball, the hitter even in chaste and intimate silence still may fail, but he will still see the fullness of the action because he has heard and seen within the silence of the game as he continues to prepare for what will be next.
This, I believe, is a good metaphor for much of our active spiritual life. Noise and distraction are to easy to fall into and way to common in our lives. Like baseball, when we loose focus on the one in front of us, when we allow ourselves to seek so many distractions, we fail to see the good being prepared for us to hit, catch and throw in the blessing of love. We live our spiritual and physical love non-intimately and unchastely because our minds are filled with the clutter of noise. It is in accepting the joy of God’s gifts for what they are and focusing on who we are that we seek to be the woman and man God created us to be. This is where we begin to live in true intimate chaste silence and the most difficult thing we can do…to be quiet in our powerlessness…becomes the most fruitful.
“How many people lose their peace because they want, at any price, to change those around them! How many married people become agitated and irritated because they would like their spouses not to have this or that fault! The Lord asks us, on the contrary, to bear with patience the faults of others. (p 55 Fr. Philippe)

God bless,
Fr. Mark

No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. [And] be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. (Eph 4:29-32)

This past week I have been watching a short video series “A Lent to Remember: A Lenten Encounter with Mercy” found our formed.org about the gift of reconciliation/forgiveness and the blessing of the Sacrament of Reconciliation through God’s grace of forgiveness. It placed before my mind the above words of Sacred Scripture from St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians. It had been a sin I had held for many years, as a young man, a Marine and filled with the words of society I used foul language a lot…I mean a lot. Especially in Marine Corps, the words were almost as natural as breathing in daily conversation. At one point in my life I knew this had to end. It was through the Sacrament of Confession, daily prayer and some wonderful help from friends that I was able to curb this foul habit in my life. I am still a sinner, and on the odd occasion I will say a word that I regret but truth be told, I can’t remember, off the golf course, the last time I used one of these swear words.
One confessor’s advice I remember and still use today with many people who confess this sin is the reality of beauty and ugliness. God desire for us is beauty and with our words we are called to place beauty in the world. We can think of the great poems and literature where words create a magical scene beyond belief, but we also know that the profane can do just he opposite. In choosing to put beauty into the world we begin to walk closer to God and do His will in the world.
That’s the good news…we can conquer sin with God’s grace, prayer and support. This is the bad news…St Paul continues on from the edict “No foul language should come out of your mouths.” That is the easy part, or at least it is for me, because while I may limit my foul language, what about “bitterness, fury, anger, shouting and reviling…with all malice” Oh how I need to go to confession again. These are the ones that are easy to justify because more often than not they are pointed directly at someone or a group of people who have “done us wrong!” These are my greater sins and the ones that need healing. I remember how this was pointed out to me during my college years at Holy Names College (now University) in Oakland. I was in my final year and one of my philosophy professors, Dr. Richard Yee, called me aside and scolded me with gentleness and compassion about my words to another student in class. He simply, in so many words, told me he expected better. It was hard to hear but also important because the malice can grow like a cancer and begin to infect so many different relationships. You can see two examples below with links to of how anger infects and ultimately can destroy the sacramental relationship of marriage.
In reality St. Paul’s challenge to the Ephesians remains our challenge today. How do we speak with kindness, compassion, gentleness, mercy and love to those around us and let go of the sins that hold us apart? During this Lenten season we may choose to “fast” from these sins and embrace the cross of love. To share in the goodwill of God for all. Fr. Jacques Philippe writes this beautiful reflection, ”Here, then, is what we mean by goodwill. It is not perfection, nor sainthood achieved, because it could well coexist without hesitations, imperfections and even faults. But it is the way, because it is just this habitual disposition of heart (whose foundation is found in the virtues of faith hope and love), which permits the grace of God to carry us, little by little, toward perfection.” (p 17, “Searching for and Maintaining Peace)
God Bless
Fr. Mark

www.formed.org (see parish website for free code) yes FREE CODE

The 7 phases of anger in marriage

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/whats-destroying-some-catholic-marriages-the-answer-may-surprise-you-57498

Next Wednesday is a day of love, Valentine’s Day, but there is an even deeper love that will be celebrated, the first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday where the sacrificial love of God’s gift of peace and reconciliation becomes a reality in our life. We are also in the middle of “National Marriage Week” where we celebrate the unity of love between husband and wife in the sacramental union of relationship. In other words, love is certainly overflowing these next few days. And if this was not enough, this weekend I will be presenting a Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend and then Monday evening will be a presentation to our Catechumens on the Sacrament of Marriage.
So, the theme of this reflection is on reconciliation and confession. You may at this point be shaking your head and asking, “Why not love?” This is a legitimate and good question. My simple answer is the gift of love must alway be rooted in the forgiveness of the other because we are sinners. My love of the Church, and I do love the Church, is always grounded in that we are a collections of saints and sinners and the “saint” part of me must always be willing to forgive the “sinner” part of me and our Holy Church. Because the Sacraments of community and relationship, Matrimony and Holy Orders, are always focused towards an other. The Other being firstly God through whom we see our beloved spouse. And God gives us the great Sacrament of Healing, Reconciliation, so that we might see each other as God sees us.
This is one of the great acts of love we can share, and as noted above, if we are able to see Lent as a movement of sacrificial love, then we are able to move toward the other in compassion, mercy and forgiveness.
The Lenten discipline we practice as Catholic Christians is to empty ourselves from the “stuff” that does not allow love to rest deeply in our hearts and to allow the other in or life to envelop us in tenderness and care. This can often mean we have to let go of hurts and sins we are holding on too out of fear our hardness of heart. And this can and is hard to do…which is why we have the help of God and His Church in the gift of reconciliation and confession.
I remember several years ago as we were preparing for first Reconciliation with a group of children, one parent came up and said how her child was looking forward to the Sacrament. I can remember the little boy coming and plopping himself down in the chair and going through the ritual greeting with clarity and joy and then confessing his sins, but especially one that he added at the end, “I hope God forgives me.” I assured him God did forgive and while I don’t remember the exact sin, I do know that it was very small and minor and the scale of seriousness but for this little boy it was a barrier in loving God and his family. (And believe it or not, this same basic conversation and confession happens many times each year) But the point I wish you to pray about is for some of us, we can say the phrase, “I’m a good person,” which is true, “why do I need confession?”
We all need the Sacrament of Healing so we may move closer to God. I am glad when people come in and confess only “minor” sins and not “grave” matter, but I always remind them that these small sins can begin to build up and need to be forgiven in the grace filled moment of reconciliation, which brings us back to relationship and love.
The great evangelist, Bishop Fulton Sheen, reminds us of our need for healing and reconciliation when he wrote, “Our Lord is telling us that it is never enough to be free from the powers of evil; we must also be subject to the power of the good. The elimination of an ego does not necessarily imply that happiness of the I, unless the I, in its turn, lives by a higher spirit of love.”
I would encourage you during the Lenten season to make us of the Sacrament of Reconciliation as an act of sacrificial love.
God Bless
Fr. Mark

The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you–O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Sam 18:33)

This reading came to us in our daily Mass readings this week and each and every time I hear David cry out in pain and sorrow I hear the cry of God for us, his children. It also reminds me of an experience heard many times in the petitions of Mass and the prayers of the people. When I was first ordained an elderly gentleman, a daily Mass attendee, would have a simple petition each day, “For my son to come back to the Church.” It was said gently and with love each day but there was also the pain and sorrow of “O my son Absalom!”
If you don’t remember the story of David and Absalom a quick recap. Absalom, one of David’s sons, choose to rebel against his father and usurp the throne. David needed to flee his palace in Jerusalem and then enter into battle with the forces loyal Absalom. During the battle Absalom is slain and when the news reaches David, we hear the above lament. When the soldiers loyal to David hear of their king’s sorrow, Samuel tells us, “Then it was told Joab, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourns for Absalom.” The victory that day was turned to mourning for all the people, for the people heard it said that day, “The king is grieved for his son.” (2 Sam 19:1-2)
Each parent, each husband or wife, each friend has felt at one time the betrayal of love that David suffers today and often we can cry out that we wished it had rather been us who suffered the pains of the other, out of love, rather than see them go through the pain…and yet we cannot.
I believe we can learn two very simple moments from the David’s story and the gift of relationship and the suffering for the other.
First, we cannot prevent the suffering of the other but we can love the other. Each person, especially parents, come quickly to the understanding that other people, including those we love the most will make mistakes, have bad choices and walk away from good things. There are also the illness and misfortunes of life that come upon us and others where we suffer these consequences.
God asks us not to suffer in silence. Sacred Scripture is chock full of examples of crying out to God for the suffering being endured. We too are invited into this same cry as we direct our prayers and pleas to God. When my Dad died, I was in my early twenties. He died of a heart attack. When he had his first heart attack I was only 15 years old. My Dad continued to smoke and chew tobacco even though he knew it was harmful and would shorten his life. I spent years before and after his death crying out in anger to God and anyone who would listen. As family and friends loved me through my pain slowly but surely my anger and the bad choices I made because of this anger disappeared and moved in a healthier direction.
Second, we will feel the pain of loss and hurt but we are called to stand with Jesus in suffering with the other. I recently listened to a recorded talk by Kimberly Hahn on formed.org about “Our Lady of Sorrows” (I would highly recommend it to everyone) In it she talked about her conversion to the Catholic Church and the pain it caused her family and the rejection she felt from many of them. She talked bout how in the example of Mary we cannot take away the suffering but in love we are called to share in the suffering.
As family members make choices that hurt themselves and others, we are called, not to condone the choices, rather we are invited to give the example of love in encouraging and being with them in their broken-heartedness and to reach out in love. We can only do knowing and loving God through the example of the saints, Our Blessed Mother in particular, allowing the suffering of Jesus to heal our wounds.
We are reminded after the battle David as king chose to seek reconciliation and not retribution to those who had rebelled against him. Seeking the reconciliation of hurt allows us to cry out in grief and love seeking to live always in the peace of Christ…a peace that heals and renews our hearts.
God bless.
Fr. Mark