“To modern men and women, often dissatisfied with a shallow and ephemeral existence, and in search of authentic happiness and love, Christ offers his own example and issues the invitation to follow Him.He asks those who hear his voice to give their lives for others. This sacrifice is a source of self-fulfillment and joy, as is seen in the eloquent example of those men and women who, leaving all security behind, have not hesitated to risk their lives as missionaries in different parts of the world. It can also be seen in the response of those young people who, prompted by faith, have embraced a vocation to the priesthood or the religious life in order to serve God’s plan of salvation.
—John Paul II, Holy Father’s Message for Lent, 2003

Don’t you ever get bored? This was a question a young person asked me recently when we were talking about what I do as a priest. I was sharing my normal duties and was asked this very reasonable question. He was wondering about the number of times I celebrated Mass each week, the time in prayer I spend each day and the other sacramental duties I have at the parish. For him, looking from the outside, it seemed a bit tedious and repetitious and yes boring.
We can all guess at my answer to his question. From the inside…my life, my ministry and my vocations is not boring. Yes, there may be days when I feel a bit tired and not fully engaged…I am a human being…and there are other days when I may be disengaged or frustrated with things…I am a sinner…but I am never bored.
Let’s begin with the Mass…am I ever bored? No. Why? Simply put, because it is an act of love. I can honestly say that as a child and young man I may have found the Mass a tad bit boring because I did not understand what was going on and often was not fully participating in the Mass. This all began to change in college and then at St. Bonaventure Mission in New Mexico when I started to go not just to Sunday Mass but also the occasional weekday Mass. I began to listen to the prayers at Mass. I began to read the Sacred Scripture in preparation for Mass. And I even began to listen to the homily with a little more attention. What I soon discovered was, while many of the prayers and words at each celebration of the Mass were the exact same words and prayers from the day before they led me to a different place and focused me on a different and new aspect of God’s love and will in my life. And as this occurred, I began to find the Mass not boring but on the contrary to be something that I looked forward too over and over again.
And this love of the Mass eventually led me to the priesthood. But don’t misunderstand me, many men and women attend daily Mass, don’t find it boring, and are not called to the consecrated religious life or priesthood.
As a priest I celebrate Mass daily and often several times each day with funerals, weddings and other occasions of joy in our Catholic Church but I am never bored. Why? Because each celebration is an act of love, an act of generosity and an act of serving others as God calls us to be servants. Each time I encounter the prayers of the Mass I discover ever more deeply the voice of God reminding me to seek Him with joy in my brothers and sisters. As I encounter Christ in the congregation I see each member of the Body of Christ differently with their blessings and crosses reminding me of Jesus’ invitation to seek him in the most vulnerable and those who challenge my comfortableness in life. It is the daily encounter with the Word, Jesus Christ, in hearing and proclaiming…often wondering…how God uses even brokenness to shine forth his glory and grace.
I could write about prayer in the same way with my daily Holy Hour, the recitation of Breviary, the Rosary which, once more, from the outside seem the same boring words, but when done in love become an act of healing and grace as we encounter the living Word, Jesus Christ, in all that we do.
Our faith and vocation, whether it be as a priest, religious sister or brother, married as husband and wife, in the single state or growing and preparing for our true vocation is never boring and when we seek to encounter Jesus, who is the center of our faith, we will discover more depth and joy than we had ever dreamed possible. Because the boredom comes when we begin to do our work in the expectation of receiving first rather than choosing to give in generosity simply as an act of love.
Is my life, my ministry, my vocation boring? Nope…because encountering Jesus daily in his Holy Catholic Church is a deeper joy and a more profound peace and greater blessing than I have ever dreamed possible.
God bless and pray for vocations.
Fr. Mark

“I led them with cords of compassion, with the bands of love” (Hosea 11:4) Trans RSV

On retreat last week, our Spiritual Director, Fr. Thomas shared the above quote with us and asked us to pray with it (and several others) as we moved forward in our time of silence and contemplation. When I opened my Bible to read the quote surrounded by the text I read, “I drew them with human cords, with bands of love.” (Hosea 11:4) Translation does make a difference. I would invite you to read the whole of Chapter 11 from the Prophet Hosea is a beautiful lament to love, especially for parents to their children.
When I read, “cords of compassion” and the second translation of “human cords” it reminded me of the call of mercy and love our God offers to us and how we are called to be compassion and love to one another in the human joy of relationship. All of these thoughts, prayers and memories of joy-filled love brought me back to my ordination day and the Bible quote from my holy card, “I am bound by the vows I have made, God, I will pay the debt of thanks, for you have saved my life from death.” (Ps 56:12) It sparked the grace of remembering, I am bound not by whipcords of anger and chains of frustration but by compassion and love, I am bound by a free choice to live gently within love as my bride, the Church, cares for me as I am called to care for her. It is something I too often forget in the “work” of ministry and the task of the day.
This small quote asked me to remember where the “cords of compassion” that bind me are and who are the “bands of love” filling my ministry with hope and mercy. I remember the cord of compassion offered by my first principal, Sr. Michelle, at Blessed Tekakwitha Academy in Thoreau New Mexico before my first day of teaching with the beautiful words, “Love them and you will do just fine.” This cord has led me to depths of joy I had never imagined and have bound me to serve others with care and devotion. A band is the memory of my brother priest, Fr. Caleb, standing next to me as I celebrated the funeral Mass for my younger brother Mitch. The simple prayerful presence, the courage offered bound me in graceful blessing and strengthened me to do what was unthinkable and impossible without this band of love. It is the cord and band of my fellow co-workers in the Worldwide Marriage Encounter Movement seeking to live out the compassion and love that truly bind us to our sacred vows in their marriages. It is the learning how my priesthood is united in their sacramental love and union and how in the great cord of compassion we are each enriched in our call to serve God as faithful followers of Jesus Christ. And I could go on with endless lists of these cords and bands that have enriched my priesthood and my life as a Catholic.
Ultimately it is choosing to see beyond the momentary hurts and into the lasting eternal passion of God’s gift of life and love offered with boundless blessing. It is seeking to allow the bonds of compassion and bands of love to heal the hurts and free us from the whipcords and chains of spiraling sin that offers only isolation and destruction. And this is why we all need to take time with God and with our beloved to remember how graced our lives are in unity with one another. (Please see the Marriage Encounter plug below) It is good to be silent, to reflect, to write and remember the blessings we share. I chose once more on my retreat this year to write a Litany of Thanksgiving modeled after Psalm 136 where each line ends with the words, “for His love endures forever.” This litany was filled with th vow I have made to God and to you and where cords of compassion and bands of love grow ever more gently in the service of grace.
God bless,
Fr. Mark

Lent is right around the corner and we are all called to prayer, fasting and alms-giving each year. Why not start a little early and fill each of these disciplines with the love of your spouse…Feb 9-11 are the dates….the blessings are many as the resolutions and promises of Lent will be filled with loving sacrifice and incredible grace filling you marriage with the greatness of God’s love.
https://sanjosewwme.org/

Come join me and other remarkable couples in the journey of a life-time.

“The sanctity of married life is not something that takes place alongside of marriage, but by and through marriage. The vocation to marriage is a vocation to happiness, which comes through holiness and sanctity. Unity of two in one flesh is not something the God tolerates but something that He wills.” (Bishop Fulton Sheen)

A Pope, a Bishop and a Priest

Life, Love and Chidren

It’s as natural as the birds and the bees…there’s a new world out there…here we go again. The Catholic Church believes in marriage. The Catholic Church believes in children. The Catholic Church believes and hopes for the blessing of children in happy and holy marriages. But there is a deep and dark secret…the Catholic Church does not always act on the words of encouragement in supporting families, especially young married families with children.
This is where the missionary work of Marriage Encounter and other groups of lay faithful find the great struggle: how can we proclaim the joy and fruitfulness of marriage and be turned away? We can point to countless first hand and antidotal examples as well as a plethora of written work of young families who have been shut out of the life of the Church as they search for God within their families. It is often only the very brave and very persistent who make it through this gauntlet of rejection. Pope Francis understood this when he issued the challenger in “Amoris Laetitia” “The Church is called to cooperate with parents…She must always do this by helping them to appreciate their proper role and to realize that by their reception of the sacrament of marriage they become ministers of their children’s education.” (#85 AL) Do we believe this?
As a parish priest and a presenting priest for Marriage Encounter I walk the line of hypocrisy all the time. I often talk the talk without seeking the resources in my own parish to walk the walk. We know through our experience of the weekend that couples who seek God in their relationships are happier and holier, thus better spouses, better parents and member of the greater community. Each of us can testify to this in our own sacramental relationship. We know this is the best and most fruitful path for all married couples because we know God wants this blessing in world. Bishop Fulton Sheen writes about the cycles of love moving back and forth that find the grace of God they only true answer, “In family life, in like manner, two hearts do not move on a roadway to a happier love, rather every now and then they seem to be on the brink of losing their love, only to find it on a higher level. ” (p 154 GM)
We know that happy, holy and emotionally healthy couples make great marriages, great parents and fruitful members of our Church community. We also know the huge and constant struggle to convince the Church and couples that this is indeed true. In the Sacrament of Reconciliation I will often hear both husband and wife confess and know that their actions as well as those of their spouse are bringing injury into their “little church” and yet to even open their eyes to the possibility of a Weekend is more daunting than I had ever imagined.
We all know the excuses as we try and remind them of Fr. Gallagher great advice, the “We are not isolated entities. Human fulfillment and satisfaction in life cannot be defined merely in achievement of individual goals.” (p 26 ME) So how do we continue to invite and invite and invite…it is by doing this very small but evangelical ministry of invitation were we engage joyfully in the missionary ministry of the Church. It is not hopeless work but rather faithful work even in the most trying moments. It is the reminder that I take to heart over and over again when I look upon the photo of the two great modern saints, John Paul II and Theresa of Calcutta standing together with eyes alight, smiles of whimsy and grace showing forth the joy the Gospel resonating with love.
If we show this face, this heart and this soul then, even when the Church says come back later, the couples deny the time needed and our Marriage Encounter community struggles, we will know with joy the work of God we are doing within the brokenness of the world.

“Amoris Laetitia: The Joy of Love” Pope Francis (2016) (AL)

“The Marriage Encounter” Fr. Chuck Gallagher, SJ (1975) (ME)

“Three to Get Married” Bishop Fulton Sheen (1951) (GM)

“The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage” Dr. Allen Hunt (2015) (USM)

“Love Is Our Family: The Family Fully Alive” USCCB (2014) (LOF)

As I wrote last week, I am away on my yearly priest retreat. I thank you all for the prayers that have been pouring down upon me and my bother priests this week. I am, of course, writing in advance because I am living the silent gift of retreat, so this reflection is one of hope for a fruitful retreat filled with many spiritual gifts.
Cardinal Sarah reminds us that we are called to be gifts to the other. It is a choice to love sacrificially in donation of self to the other, God first and we to follow. As I have noted before, the gift of silence in hearing God is to stand gently in the presence of God. When the prophet Elijah was confronted with the silence of God, he came out of the cave when the noise of the world had passed and stood listening to the gentle soft call of the Lord. (1 Kings 19:11-14) This is the choice we are all called to make, “The choice of silence is their gift for humanity. The men and women who enter into the silence offer themselves as a holocaust for their brethren. The exterior world is like an overflowing river running down a slope and threatening to smash everything in its path. In order to control this force, it is necessary to build dikes. And silence is this powerful dike the controls the tumultuous waters of the world and protects from noises and distractions of all sorts. Silence is a dam that restore a kind of dignity to mankind.” (#109 “The Power of Silence” Robert Cardinal Sarah)
The holocaust of life is the spending of our lives in service of the other. To allow ourselves to become buffers for others against the temptations and sins of life in choosing the vocation of holiness. This is the path of life where we choose to embrace the cross in hopeful joy, a cross that offers us the Eucharist of life drawing closer to God and our sisters and brothers. “The way of perfection passes by way of the cross. There is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle. Spiritual progress entails the ascesis and mortification that gradually lead to living the peace and joy of the Beatitudes.” (CCC #2015) Like anything worthwhile, the discipline and effort required for a holy life needs a foundation of time and spiritual works. This is a path each Christian needs to follow. The life of spiritual progress does entail the small battles of being to tired, distracted or to lazy to do our daily prayers. It may be a greater battle of the teenager/or adult that is refusing to go to Mass tempts us to stay away and is dragging the family away from God’s love. It can even be greater battles where Satan seeks to rupture the unity of family and community through grave and mortal sin. These battles are real and need to be taken seriously so we may know the way and return to God’s healing silence when we have fallen.
If we don’t know and take time with God in fighting the battles of holiness then what Cardinal Sarah writes becomes reality unless we take up our cross daily and follow Him. “Persons who live in noise are like dust swept along by the wind They are slaves of a turmoil that destroys their relationships with God. On the other hand, those who love silence and solitude walk step by step toward God; they know how to break the vicious circles of noise, like animal tamers who manage to calm roaring lions.” (#110 “The Power of Silence” Robert Cardinal Sarah)
This is the hope for each and every Christian: to be in silence with God. Take time to retreat into silence as an individual, married couple and even the whole family. Take time daily and weekly to set aside quiet time, as an individual, married couple and family to silence the house and focus on God through prayer and love. Take time to pray for those around us, family, friend, neighbor, stranger or enemy to place them in the silence of God’s love.
Once more, thank you for your prayers of blessing…I can assure you that I will hear them in the silence of God’s love. See you in the Eucharist.

God Bless
Fr. Mark

A Pope, a Bishop and a Priest

Seeds of the Word and Imperfect Situations

We know from experience that each vocation is a gift from God, planted in our hearts to grow and be blessed but at the same time we understand how sin interrupts this grace as we turn what is holy and blessed into something less that God desires for us as his beloved children. As we welcome couples into Marriage Encounter we often welcome broken hearts in need of healing. It was almost 70 years ago that Bishop Sheen recognized this hurt when he wrote, “To many married people expect their partner to give that which only God can give, namely an eternal ecstasy. If man or woman could give that which the heart wants, he or she would be God. Wanting the ecstasy of love is right, but expecting it in the flesh that is not on pilgrimage to God is wrong. The ecstasy is not an illusion; it is only the “travel folder” with its many pictures, urging the body and soul to make the journey to eternity,” (p23-24 GM)
Much ink and many tears have been spilled over this basic understanding of the nature of marriage. One of the great challenges we face is to present the truth of marriage in a society that denies many of the truths. We are invited not only to talk the talk but especially to walk the walk in our witness to marriage. It is always a difficult to speak with couples within Marriage Encounter who are struggling in their marriage. As a priest, I am challenged to witness to the truth of the Church and God’s will, but to do so in love as Pope Francis challenges, “When faced with difficult situations and wounded families, it is always necessary to recall this general principle: ‘Pastors must know that, for the sake of truth, they are obliged to exercise careful discernment of situations’ (Familiaris Consortio, 84)…Therefore, while clearly stating the Church’s teaching, pastors are to avoid judgements that do not take into account the complexity of various situations, and they are to be attentive, by necessity, to how people experience and endure distress because of their condition”. (#79 AL)
Our Holy Father speaks of the pastoral care we often witness in the Q&A on the weekend, in our Circles and the enrichments shared by the WWME community. The reaching out to individual couples seeking advice should always be a hallmark of our ministry. And within our ministry to point toward the Church which offers the healing gift of the Sacrament of Reconciliation as a remedy to sin.
Fr. Gallagher challenges me and all presenting priests to this blessing, “Above all, the priest is there to express his tender, human, personal concern for the love each husband and wife have for one another. the priest is there to answer the unspoken question: “How much do we dare risk?”” (p 51 ME) Choosing to become vulnerable to our beloved is an invitation to witness to the truth of the Gospel of love. This continues to be the greatest blessing of my participation because when “I dare to risk” I open my heart to a deeper relationship with God and his holy people.
“The priest is not on the weekend to change people’s attitudes towards priests. If this happens, it happens incidentally. He is there to help couples realize how special they are, to see that they are not ordinary.” (p 51 ME) The reality and uniqueness of each and every marriage invites us to be the healing witness of God’s love to the couples within Marriage Encounter and all those we invite into a deeper relationship with God. The invitation into the extraordinary joy and love of God is the invitation into a grace filled relationship with my beloved. Pope Francis reminds us that this invitation is a journey where our example of faithful and faith-filled love helps the world discover the deeper meaning of sacramental marriage. “The Gospel of the family also nourishes seeds that are still waiting to grow, and serves as the basis for caring for those plants that are wilting and must not be neglected. Thus, building on the gift of Christ in the sacrament, married couples “may be led patiently further on in order to achieve a deeper grasp and a fuller integration of this mystery in their lives.”” (#76 AL) Our challenge to daily dialogue is to be attentive to our relationships that they may not wilt under the pressure of the world that seeks to intrude into the moments of love and passion that come from sacramental union. When we choose to share our deepest feelings and open our hearts to our beloved we find the healing grace of God, the seeds of the Gospel, the forgiveness of the imperfect become the joy of the shared union of life and the gift of new life in the relationship.
“All love craves unity. This is evident in marriage, where there is the unity of two in one flesh. When a person loves anything, he sees it as fulfilling a need and seeks to incorporate it to himself, whether it be the wine that he loves or the science of the stars.” (p 19 GM) Bishop Fulton Sheen knew the only passion that satisfies the soul is union of God through the sacramental grace of discovering God’s love through the sacred union with the beloved. It is the driving force of seeking that unfolds into a discipleship of sacramental love where we serve the other in the imperfect moments of life.
“Know where you’re going. That is the secret of purpose.” (p 25 USM)

Let us pray,

Our Father,
Who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil.
Amen

“Amoris Laetitia: The Joy of Love” Pope Francis (2016) (AL)

“The Marriage Encounter” Fr. Chuck Gallagher, SJ (1975) (ME)

“Three to Get Married” Bishop Fulton Sheen (1951) (GM)

“The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage” Dr. Allen Hunt (2015) (USM)

“Love Is Our Family: The Family Fully Alive” USCCB (2014) (LOF)