The teaching of the Master on marriage is set – and not by chance – in the context of the ultimate and definitive dimension of our human existence. We urgently need to rediscover the richness of this teaching. By heeding it, married couples will come to see the deeper meaning of their journey through life. As this Exhortation (Familiaris Consortio) has often noted, no family drops down from heaven perfectly formed; families need constantly to grow and mature in the ability to love. This is a never-ending vocation born of the full communion of the Trinity, the profound unity between Christ and his Church, the loving community which is the Holy Family of Nazareth, and the pure fraternity existing among the saints of heaven. Our contemplation of the fulfilment which we have yet to attain also allows us to see in proper perspective the historical journey which we make as families, and in this way to stop demanding of our interpersonal relationships perfection, a purity of intentions and a consistency which we will only encounter in the Kingdom to come. It also keeps us from judging harshly those who live in situations of frailty.

All of us are called to keep striving towards something greater than our families, and every family and ourselves must feel this constant impulse. Let us make this journey as families, let us keep walking together. What we have been promised is greater than we can imagine. May we never lose heart because of our limitations, or ever stop seeking that fullness of love and communion which God holds out before us. (325)

With this last thought we end the journey through Laetitia Amoris. It has been a wonderful experience to reflect on the gift of love, marriage and family through the teachings of the Church. I know that in purposefully skipping Chapter 4, “Love in Marriage” I did not reflect fully on Pope Francis’ powerful reflection on St. Paul’s beautiful teaching from 1Corinthians 13:4-7, but I promise I will return to this in the future as it holds such great richness from our tradition.

“All of us are called to keep striving towards something greater than our families…” What are we striving for? To become the reflection of the Most Holy Trinity in our lives. It is a call to a unity of love, purpose and desire that drives us in the direction of forgiveness, mercy and compassion. It is a desire that we all aspire to but seldom live up to in our daily lives…and yet there are times in experiencing this moment, this timeless blessing the peace of Christ rests within our hearts, our marriages and our families and love grows..

In reading and reflecting on what Pope Francis has taught us in this beautiful document, I would sum it up into three important actions, each person, each married couple and each family should do to grow in faith, hope and love, or in other words become the reflection of the Most Holy Trinity.

1. Work—love is work. Family is work. Marriage is work. We must be actively engaged in the work of love, family and marriage on a constant and ongoing basis. It is not the work of drudgery, nor is the work of constant weight. It is the work of joyful presence where each action in mutual love is met with other actions shared and given. We are reminded throughout the document that the work of marriage, family and love brings joyful blessings and graces to each and every member of the family of God.
2. Forgive—to not be bound by the limitations, the hurts and the failures of love but rather seek the better, the truer and the more beautiful in the blessings of love. It is too often the reality in speaking with a couple in crisis they will readily catalogue the list of sins committed against them but look dumbfounded when asked to list the blessings. We know this truth: when we hold on to sins we cannot hold on to the blessings of life to the fullness God wishes us to do. Forgiving our beloved is an act of recognizing the reality of sin—letting go and then letting the blessings renew and rebuild the love God shares with us.
3. Live—to be with God. In living with God at the center of our relationships, especially the marital relationship, we allow each act of love to be an act of blessing. Whether it is the small words and works of kindness shared or the embrace of love that communicates, blesses and renews life within the relationship—we are invited to bring God into these moments of life—to be with God. While many people think God and the Church want to bind us up with so many rules where life becomes stifled and listless, we know this is not true. When we live with God and through pure and holy love share the gifts of abundance and generosity with others…especially within the marital bound…we live in true freedom where we unbind the sin which restricts joy.

May God bless you and keep you safe to woke, reconcile and live the life of a true disciples of Jesus Christ.

Fr. Mark

Led by the Spirit, the family circle is not only open to life by generating it within itself, but also by going forth and spreading life by caring for others and seeking their happiness. This openness finds particular expression in hospitality, which the word of God eloquently encourages: “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Heb 13:2). (#324)

Growing up in a family with nine children the signs of life were always plentiful around the house. Being a member of a large extended family with literally hundreds of cousins running around and in a community that was connected through blood and faith in such and intimate manner was always a little crazy. The question, “Am I related to him/her/them?” seemed always to be answered with a yes to some degree or another.

As we move to the end of Amoris Laetitia (we have only one paragraph left) we come to the heart of the gift of hospitality. We are reminded in the beginning of paragraph #324 that the impulse of all family life is generosity in the invitation to share life and bless life in a intimate a holy way. The openness to life is the sharing of hospitality and generosity with the other. I can remember the many visits to Grandma Mary’s house (fraternal) and the celebrations at Grandpa Hank’s (maternal) with the numerous cousins, my uncles and aunts all running about, sharing food and drink along with the stories and laughter of the family gathered.

It is this sharing of life, when we gather and break bread, open our lives in stories and share music, laughter and tears where prayer and faith intersect with the daily work of life that the true blessings of family comes forth.

It is a tradition in our Catholic faith to bless houses, as we bless marriages to sanctify the unity of those living within the house of marriage and the more physical structures of the house. One of the prayers shared is at the door/entrance to the house, “O God, protect our going out and our coming in; Let us share the hospitality of this home with all who visit us, that those who enter here may know your love and peace.Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen.” This short prayer, as part of the blessing of the whole house, expresses the meaning of the gift of generous welcome as we invite the presence of God into the center of the life of the family. The gift of open doors, of welcome and in sharing the blessing of life with one another is the opportunity to encounter Jesus at our door.

Our Holy Father Francis continues, When a family is welcoming and reaches out to others, especially the poor and the neglected, it is “a symbol, witness and participant in the Church’s motherhood”. Social love, as a reflection of the Trinity, is what truly unifies the spiritual meaning of the family and its mission to others, for it makes present the kerygma in all its communal imperatives. The family lives its spirituality precisely by being at one and the same time a domestic church and a vital cell for transforming the world. (#324)

As family, we always begin with the husband and wife and their call to welcome the soul of the other to take up residence in their heart, the house of the beloved. This welcoming then extends to children. It is a place where the welcoming of friends and family gather and the love of husband and wife flows through the graciousness of God’s blessings and where they meet the struggles, the hurts, and the sufferings in mutual love and hope in the mystery of the sacramental love shared between them. And we must pay careful attention to this last line of the paragraph where families are called, through the shared gift of love to transform the world. The spirit of hospitality, founded in mutual love, founded on the openness to life, founded with the generous gift of hospitality, where we truly recognize in and welcome all as the living presence of Jesus Christ into our homes does transform the world.

God Bless

Fr. Mark

I was returning from my morning walk the other day. As I picked up the newspaper from the front sidewalk I look over towards the church and saw three young men standing in front of the mural of Our Lady of Guadalupe. In my mind, I thought, “how wonderful that these three young men are spending a few moments in prayer with our Blessed Mother.” I walked over to greet them and as I was approaching the tell tale sign of the glowing smart phone in front of their faces, the swiping movement of their fingers and the intense concentration of each of them gave it all away…Pokémon Go.

Was I a little disappointed? Yes. Nevertheless I went over and spent a brief time in prayer, in the midst of the young men, praying the Hail Mary several times. I figure if it is good enough for an Olympic gold medalist in time of trial, it is good enough for me.

This month we are focusing on the first Spiritual Work of Mercy, “Instructing the Ignorant.” Don’t be afraid or offended by the words because in the sense of the work of mercy, ignorant simply means someone who does not know. I can imagine that the three young men standing in front of Mary that morning had very little idea of the symbolism, the blessing and the love they were looking at in the mural. It may be because they were not Catholic, Christian or were ignorant of the miracle of Guadalupe. It could be because they were so focused and distracted by their pursuit of one more pokémon that they were unable to see the beauty being made present in the image of Mary and the grace of the early morning.

The work of mercy, instructing the ignorant, is a call to be witnesses to the Gospel message and teaching by word and example the faith of our Church through our love of Jesus Christ. The great Christian apologist, C.S. Lewis reminds us in his book, The Screwtape Letters, that two of the devil’s greatest tools are distraction from the pursuit of holiness and the lack of charity of Christians towards each other. We are reminded by Jesus, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (Jn 13:35) This should be the foundation of “instructing the ignorant.”

The first step in this work of mercy is to enter into the moment of humility knowing that we are all called to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn more deeply our faith in knowing Him who is our Savior. It has been my experience, and I know that I am not alone, that in “instructing” the doors of faith open wider and the joy of the Gospel is made real in the relationship developed and blessed in the conversation of faith.

Humbleness is removing the distractions of life and focusing on what is most important, the person who is with us, who needs us, who we are called to serve. It is acting like Jesus when he sees us and fills the deepest desires of our hearts with joy and blessing. In this we must be willing to stop, listen and open our hearts to his words.

“Instructing the ignorant” occur in each moment, every interaction and the daily conversations we share when we are willing to become the disciple next to another disciple searching for the truth of God’s love.

It would be my hope that the three young men, enthralled and consumed by the pursuit of virtual happiness would recognize the ultimate emptiness of their momentary obsession with the game and see in the Virgencita the true and lasting happiness in giving your life to God in and through Jesus Christ as Mary did each day of her life. It would by my hope in the small example of prayer and devotion I shared with them in the early morning may awaken in them a spark of faith that will burn brightly in their lives.

It may be a good prayer for all of us today and every day to ask: What in my life is causing me to be ignorant of God’s presence and teaching in my life? How can I remove this obstacle and grow closer in the knowledge and love of our Lord Jesus Christ?

God Bless

Fr. Mark

It is a profound spiritual experience to contemplate our loved ones with the eyes of God and to see Christ in them. This demands a freedom and openness, which enable us to appreciate their dignity. We can be fully present to others only by giving fully of ourselves and forgetting all else. Our loved ones merit our complete attention. Jesus is our model in this, for whenever people approached to speak with him, he would meet their gaze, directly and lovingly (cf. Mk 10:21). No one felt overlooked in his presence, since his words and gestures conveyed the question: “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mk 10:51). This is what we experience in the daily life of the family. We are constantly reminded that each of those who live with us merits complete attention, since he or she possesses infinite dignity as an object of the Father’s immense love. This gives rise to a tenderness, which can “stir in the other the joy of being loved. Tenderness is expressed in a particular way by exercising loving care in treating the limitations of the other, especially when they are evident”. (#323)

Shortly after my heart attack a few years ago, while I was recuperating, my mom was down to take care of me as I got back on my feet. I remember one afternoon, I was reading in my chair and I looked up and saw my mom staring at me very intently. She was, as Pope Francis writes in Amoris Laetitia “present…giving fully of ourselves and forgetting all else.” I was at that moment meriting her complete attention, not for anything I could or should do for her but simply because I am who I am, I understood the gaze of Jesus. It was an unnerving feeling to be honest with you. It was the look of love we discover when we choose not to possess but be possessed by the greatest love.

I see this look of love many times as a priest…from the groom as he sees his bride enter the church for their marriage. I have seen it when the mother sees her husband tenderly hold their child. I see it in the shared look of the husband and wife in moments of laughter, joy, sorrow and suffering. I witness it the moments of dying as a husband caresses the hand of his wife or as a wife wipes every drop of spittle from the mouth of her beloved spouse.

Most tenderly, we experience the love in the embracing the limitations of our beloved in the moments of forgiveness, reconciliation and unity. This is the true beauty of marital love and the growth of love in the family. We are invited to look deeply into the beloved and embrace their limitation, to love them for who they are not who we wish them to be. It is the invitation to conform our soul to gently, tenderly and lovingly surround the beloved in the holy embrace of the sacramental grace we receive from God.

At times, we fool ourselves into thinking it is impossible to give this generous and abundant gift of love…I think we are wrong. What is harder for many of us is to accept and receive the gift of this generous love given. We fall for the temptation of thinking we are unworthy of this great love and choose to accept something much shallower and less gracious, worldly pleasures rather than holy and sacred love. It is when we do not accept the great love of God, believing in the dignity of our body and soul that we often cheapen our hopes and dreams of true and everlasting love.

When I met my mother’s gaze I truly met the gaze of Jesus for a brief moment and experienced what so many received and continue to receive in meeting the gaze of our Lord. The challenge we share is to not only see with the eyes of Jesus but to allow our hearts to be seen with Jesus’ eyes in the gaze of the husband and wife, the mother and father, the boyfriend and girlfriend, (friends etc… even our enemies) seeing, cherishing, and accepting the dignity of love we have been created to be and to live in the world.

God Bless

Fr. Mark