All of us who have attended a Catholic wedding often hear St. Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13:4-7 proclaimed as the ideal of love that God shows towards his people. This passage is presented to the soon to be married couple and congregation as the goal and hope of married love. Pope Francis in this Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia does every priest and deacon throughout the whole world a wonderful favor…he gives us enough homily material to last several life times of celebrating weddings through sharing the truth of God’s love and how we are to live that love in relationship to Him and for the man and woman joined in marriage, how they are called to live that love in a very special and blessed way.

I am jumping ahead a in my reflections over Amoris Laetitia for the simple reason: the Spiritual Work of Mercy: Counsel the Doubtful. This month we are focusing during the Year of Mercy on this wonderful work. Counseling the doubtful fits well with the text of the Exhortation because I believe Pope Francis is reaching out to those who are doubtful of the reality of love: a lasting and permanent love, a love that exceeds expectations and a love that grows ever richer and deeper as time passes, a love that many believe is not possible in this time and place. To Counsel the Doubtful is to encourage with words and works of blessing and hope the shared experience of the struggle to love deeply and live the sacrificial gift of giving one’s self to another with trust in the holiness and goodness of the other.

In chapter 4 of the Exhortation Pope Francis share the following words of wisdom; “Patience takes root when I recognize that other people also have a right to live in this world, just as they are. It does not matter if they hold me back, if they unsettle my plans, or annoy me by the way they act or think, or if they are not everything I want them to be. Love always has an aspect of deep compassion that leads to accepting the other person as part of this world, even when he or she acts differently than I would like.” (92)

When we counsel the doubtful it becomes the ultimate act of patience. Many times in counseling, and especially during the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I listen to the word of doubt, the words that often speak of the uncertainty of love, forgiveness and hope. The words of doubt which become the stumbling block for the acceptance of our Lord’s grace and blessing in our lives. The words of compassion and truth, that each and every one of us is the unique and holy gift from God and He sees us in the wonder of love, looking through our blemishes and hurts to witness His glory that rests in each one of us when we choose to give ourselves over to the healing mercy of our Divine Love.

We act through God’s healing mercy when we choose to be attentive to the other in love. In this counsel, we begin to show and see the blessings of life that surround us as our patient response to love allows the interplay of life to unfold and grow through the cracks and crevices of sin and hurt into the wondrous garden of love. The gift of attentiveness in the relationship helps us to understand our unique value in the truth of how God calls us to be blessings of love and truth. Relationship, especially between husband and wife, is always sacrificial in its nature as it forms the lasting bond of being cherished in how God created us to be: holy and blessed in love.

God bless

Fr. Mark

“At the risk of oversimplifying, we might say that we live in a culture which pressures young people not to start a family, because they lack possibilities for the future. Yet this same culture presents others with so many options that they too are dissuaded from starting a family”. In some countries, many young persons “postpone a wedding for economic reasons, work or study. Some do so for other reasons, such as the influence of ideologies which devalue marriage and family, the desire to avoid the failures of other couples, the fear of something they consider too important and sacred, the social opportunities and economic benefits associated with simply living together, a purely emotional and romantic conception of love, the fear of losing their freedom and independence, and the rejection of something conceived as purely institutional and bureaucratic”. We need to find the right language, arguments and forms of witness that can help us reach the hearts of young people, appealing to their capacity for generosity, commitment, love and even heroism, and in this way inviting them to take up the challenge of marriage with enthusiasm and courage. (#40)

The above quote comes from the Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia. Our Holy Father, Pope Francis, drawing on the tradition of the Church and the work of the Synod on the Family has shared with us a deep and powerful message about God’s plan for marriage and the wonderful teachings of love between man and woman and the blessing of new life.

As a priest working within Worldwide Marriage Encounter (WWME) many of the themes, especially when he is speaking of the difficulty and struggles that occur in married life, are not new and much of what Pope Francis is asking of us, the faithful of the Church, is not groundbreaking. What is important in this Exhortation is the depth and breadth of the teaching in one place at one time about the sacramental life of husband and wife. The recognition of the deep struggle, some would call it a crisis, concerning marriage in our current time and how we are invited to witness to marriage has in recent years received much more attention as we seek to understand how to nurture, support and form young men and women into virtuous husbands and wives.

I think one of the themes pointed out in the above quote is the overborn cautionary fear many people, young and old, have concerning the commitment of marriage. It is something that I often hear from parents warning their children not to get married “to early” and from young couples, often living together, who repeat the well worn phrase, they are waiting until they are “settled” or are “in the right place in their career” before they get married. This fear and caution stems from the reality that many married couples struggle and break-up in divorce. I have sat and counseled many men and women, many couples seeking to find hope and blessing in the midst of their suffering and pain.

The only antidote to this fear is the hope and witness of happy and holy married couples seeking to serve God and each other in the truth of holy love. It is pointing out the fears are real but hearing the voice of the Lord Jesus calling out to us to not be afraid but to jump in, prepared to swim against the tide of fear and sin towards the joy of sacramental love joined to the eternal love of heaven.

It is the blessings echoed in the words of the Bishops of the United States, “Real marital unity also relies on mercy, a quality we learn from Jesus and see throughout God’s covenant. In the Liturgy we pray “Lord have Mercy.” Jesus gives us his mercy so we can be merciful.” (#63 Love Is Our Mission) Marriage is the home of mercy and love where the fruitfulness of life flows from God’s grace to the unity of love given and shared.

God bless

Fr. Mark

ps..a article that is a clear and concise concerning Amoris Laetitia

Amoris Laetitia – Chapter 8 and That Footnote…

As our Catholic Church begins the long process of digesting Pope Francis’ Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia I have found it helpful to reflect and remind myself of some of the broader biblical themes that our Holy Father continues to remind us seek and follow with joy. First, the gospel message is good news that frees us from slavery to sin. Second, the Church is always looking outward and inward at the same time: we are called to go to the peripheries of society and seek God in sacramental graces. Third, we are to be a field hospital for the world: we accept the broken, wounded and with love and compassion offer God’s healing grace. Fourth, we are to act in God’s mercy and forgiveness: the Jubilee Year of Mercy focuses us on the blessing in our midst. I am sure there are many others “themes” that could and should be pointed out but these four have been on my heart as I have begun to read the Exhortation this week. (just a side note: I am only on #22 of 325 sections in the document)

One of the reasons that the reading has been going so slowly is the great number of citations from Sacred Scripture that Pope Francis uses in the opening chapter of the Exhortation. I have been reading with the document in one hand and the bible in the other looking deeply at the foundational call to love that God places in the center of his relationship with the people of Israel and the Church. We are reminded again and again how God extends himself towards humanity in seeking a relationship of love and how he uses the family, and the love between husband and wife as the icon for his love that flows through in abundance, generosity and fruitfulness.

We also see in the opening chapter of the Exhortation that these relationships are often broken in sin and I believe, returning to the four themes noted above, Pope Francis is seeking to remind us that the healing mercy of God is present even when we break relationships and turn away from his divine love.   Our Holy Father expresses it forcefully when he writes “The idyllic picture presented in Psalm 128is not at odds with a bitter truth found throughout sacred Scripture, that is, the presence of pain, evil and violence that break up families and their communion of life and love. For good reason Christ’s teaching on marriage (cf. Mt 19:3-9) is inserted within a dispute about divorce. The word of God constantly testifies to that sombre dimension already present at the beginning, when, through sin, the relationship of love and purity between man and woman turns into domination: “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Gen 3:16).” (#19)

The foundation of God’s love pours forth from Sacred Scripture focusing again and again on the extended hand of forgiveness and the unity that God calls each of us to freely choose. It is the continued voice of invitation to come and embrace the peace that only Jesus can share with us when we take up our cross to follow him. If we place the foundation of all relationships upon the rock of God’s truth then love with flourish in abundance. Pope Francis continues later, “In this brief review, we can see that the word of God is not a series of abstract ideas but rather a source of comfort and companionship for every family that experiences difficulties or suffering. For it shows them the goal of their journey, when God “will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more” (Rev 21:4). The work of your hands.” (22)

This great letter of love from our Catholic tradition invites us to offer our hearts into the tender hands of our loving Father.

God Bless

Fr. Mark

Yesterday I shared lunch with my sister Mauna, my brother-in-law Nick, my godson/nephew George and my niece Claire who brought the star of the show, her and Cody’s new daughter Frances. It was truly a blessing. As we sat down for a wonderful German lunch in San Francisco our waiter on seeing Frances began to share that his sister just gave birth to twins and that with a health complication that one of the twins was having they needed to separate them soon after birth. He commented on how he thought it would have been better to keep them together since they had been so intimately tied to each other in the womb for those nine months of growth and blessing.

Of course, medically speaking, we can all understand the need to separate the two new born babies and the special care that the one will receive to, we pray, live a happy, healthy and holy life. What I did find interesting was his, our waiters, innate and instinctive understanding about life within the womb and the connectedness of human beings from the very beginning of life. It is a sense that seems almost naturally to flow from our experience of life when we see the wonder of God’s gifts, especially the gift of new life given and shared.

I believe, just as important was his comment on the connectedness of human beings, how the intimacy of touch, development and love grows and grows as we spend time with one another. In natural way being connected to another is good for us. It is the spontaneous and surprising gift of self that happens when we grow in the recognition of the dignity, the sameness and the difference in blessing of being created in the image of our God.

This is the wonder of our relationship with God and each other: when we spend time together, we grow together through the shared experience, in the joys and sorrows, of life. So how do we practically see this in our lives?

In my personal experience, as a priest, I am called to share my time, talent and treasure with God’s holy people…but just as importantly with my brother priests. Like any relationship I can and do get very busy in my daily life and this can and does affect my relationships with my brother priests as it does with God’s holy people. When I choose not to extend myself towards a relationship with others then my ability to love, forgive and act in compassion towards them diminishes and my health, spiritually, mentally and physically begins to suffer. (I read somewhere that doctors say this is true) And when I do extend myself, just the opposite happens and I find myself a happier, holier and healthier priest. I believe this is what our waiter was intuiting, when he despaired that the twins were being separated, happy, healthy and holy comes from being together.

We know this is true. Husbands and wives have happier, healthier and holier relationships when they choose to be in unity sharing themselves and taking time to just be man and woman with each other. Families grow in bonds of love when they choose to play, pray and be together in conversations of blessing, both joy and sorrow, talking and sharing life in all its aspects. And our faith is vibrant and alive when we seek to recognize God in all that surrounds us in gratitude in the creation he brings to life.

Let us pray today that we my reach out and touch the other in our life so we may all grow in

happiness, healthfulness and holiness in the image of our God.

God Bless

Fr. Mark

“The enfleshment and suffering of Jesus tell us that God is not apart from the trials of humanity. God is not aloof. God is not a mere spectator. God is participating with us. God is not merely tolerating human suffering or healing suffering. God is participating with us in it. That is what gives believers both meaning and hope.” (p 63, What the Mystics Know by Fr. Richard Rohr OFM)

This Sunday, the 2^nd Sunday of Easter the Catholic Church celebrates Divine Mercy. It is a celebration of God’s coming to us in the repeated prayer, “For the sake of His sorrowful passion.” Richard Rohr, in the above cited text, reminds us how incarnational this prayer is and how we, by participating with God in Divine Mercy, grow in the hope of blessing and grace in our lives.

The joy of this blessing is that Jesus asks nothing of us and he asks everything of us in the same moment. Jesus through his death and resurrection on the cross has won the victory over sin and death. We believe this. The Divine Mercy he extends can be seen in his interactions with the disciples after the resurrection. He offers them peace, the Holy Spirit and the Word of God with the freedom of seeing anew as he walks with them. He asks for nothing: no act of penance, no groveling for forgiveness and no sacrifice. Jesus is simply there with them and invites them to remain with him.

Jesus also asks for everything. He asks them to be with and follow him, to preach him for the forgiveness of sin, to baptize in his name, to go out to all the nations, in other words, to participate with him in doing the work of mercy in the world. To live the Divine Mercy in the fullness of our lives at the cost of our own life daily as we take up our cross and follow him.

It is this gift of love we then begin to experience and practice when we are with him. We come to know deeply the person of Jesus and the wonder of his love for us, his sisters and brothers, as the generous gift that is freely and completely given over and over again. It is in this we practice the free will of love as we respond in the same generous gift of our self in love, service and sacrifice to him and our brothers and sisters who cry out in need. When we are able to enter into generosity of God’s creative goodness then we understand more fully the cost of love and mercy is freely given, simply offered and shared in the joy of intimate relation to our God.

Finally, I leave you with this short article from the Catholic News Agency (CNA) that can be found at http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/survivor-of-brussels-terror-attack-writes-letter-of-hope-to-unborn-baby-54543/ Hope is participating, living and sharing life in and through our Lord Jesus Christ.

For the sake of His sorrowful passion…have mercy on us and on the whole world.

God Bless

Fr. Mark