“Do dogs go to heaven?” that is the question.

This question gets asked very often, especially with children but more and more with adults. The simple answer is according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, (CCC 1024 and 1043) that because animals lack eternal souls, they would not experience the “beatific vision” and therefore cannot experience heaven as we human beings would.
But…listen to one of the early church fathers, Tertullian in his treatise “On Prayer” where he writes, “ All angels pray. Every creature prays. Cattle and wild beasts pray and bend the knee. As they come from their barns and caves they look up to heaven and call out, lifting up their spirits in their own fashion. The birds too rise and lift themselves up to heaven: they open out their wings, instead of hands, in the form of a cross, and get voice to what seems to be a prayer.”
I think there is a bigger question which needs to be answered here and that is: “What do I expect in heaven?” Ultimately, all we do on earth, from the moment of conception to our natural death, should point us in the direction of heaven and God. That is the first and most important priority. God, in His creation, has given us stewardship over all of creation (Gen 1:26-28) and through history but especially in recent years the Church has spoken very forcefully over our need to be “good stewards” of God’s creation. So how does this answer the first question?
Simply put, does the companionship of your pet, bring you closer in union with God through the sacrificial love and service of our brothers and sisters in Christ? This is where we return to our Lenten discipline. Does our prayer, fasting and alms giving bring us closer to Jesus in living our life of loving God and our neighbor? If not, then our sacrifice is not a good thing.
The same goes with our pets and any other thing that I can and do love. If I make it an object that obstructs my walk with Jesus then this is not a good thing. But if it opens my life to greater service and love of others and stewardship of creation (including dogs/pets) then this is a good thing and those blessings us follow us all the days of our life…and continue in the life of heaven.
The struggle comes when these things (including dogs/pets) become obstructions within our relationships. Our call to treat, in good stewardship, our animal companions with care and love must always be weighed against the good we are doing. Do dogs go to heaven? Yes, but only if we get there with them. There are many stories of a pet becoming an object of obsessions in which a person fulfills what is a natural desire to love and be loved with the pet and pushes away the normal loves of family, friends and perhaps current or future spouses. Several years ago, in premarital counseling this was a large obstacle as one person felt that the “pet” was more important than their growing relationship.
Questions that can seem silly, often lead us to deeper truths about how God desires us to live our lives. We are called to love but always in the correct order…God, neighbor and then creation. This is our call to stewardship.
God Bless
Fr.Mark

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.” (Lk 1:11)

Learning to pray is a life long endeavor. A blessing which seems to continue to fill us with joy and confound us at the same time. Prayer can be fruitful, vibrant and restful one day followed by the next day of dryness, drudgery and a struggle to focus the other days with everything in between as our life moves forward.
As our life changes in different circumstances; as we age, our relationships change or we find new ways to seek God our prayer life will also naturally need to grow and change too as we develop our love of God and others. In this we are invited to study and grow in our prayer life as we often make similar statements to that of the disciples.
“Teach us to pray,” This past week I have been learning about prayer once again. I have been watching a set of videos on www.formed.org about prayer entitled, “LECTIO: Unveiling Scripture and Tradition: PRAYER.” It is not that I am learning something new but in listening to the presenter talk about prayer I am better able to confront the areas of dryness and struggle I am facing in my prayer life and look at them with fresh eyes.
In one of the talks we are reminded that prayer is first and foremost listening to God and not the other way around. This can be a trap we too often fall into. We want to be heard. We have lots and lots of things to tell God. We know what’s best for our lives…we are living them…and God just needs to listen and cooperate. At least this is my reasoning at times. But…we need to place ourselves into the presence of God with a heart made ready and with a desire to be with Him. So coming to listen, isn’t about being and empty vessel but rather it is to be a vessel ready to be filled with something more.
Pope Benedict XVI in his beautiful Encyclical “Spe Salve (Saved in Hope)” shares with us a deep understanding of prayer focusing back on the great St. Augustine of Hippo, “he defines prayer as an exercise of desire. Man was created for greatness–-for God himself; he was created to be filled by God.”(#33)
We can often see this in our lives. We often for the very mundane when Jesus invites us to pray for greatness. “For prayer to develop this power of purification, it must, on the one hand, be something very personal, and encounter between my intimate self and God, the living God. On the other hand, it must be constantly guided and enlightened by the great prayers of the Church and of the saints, by liturgical prayer, in which the Lord teaches us again and again how to pray properly.”(#34)
It is the miracle of Jesus’ invitation to come and be with him. That God wants to converse with us in knowing him personally. It is there and only they we find the dignity of seeking the very best from ourselves and the great hope for the world and for our brothers and sisters.
In our Lenten journey we are invited into the greater communal aspect of God’s love. Our prayer is always a response to a God who calls us to come and be healed. Prayer is not about being “happy” but rather it is to be transformed into the image of Jesus Christ, because if we can do that then joyful love will always be with us because we will be abiding in the heart of Divine love.
God Bless
Fr. Mark

When we are powerless, let us be quiet and let God act. (p 55, “Searching for and Maintaining Peace” by Fr. Jacques Philippe)
This is perhaps the most difficult thing we can do..to be quiet in our powerlessness. It seems so contrary. We want to shout at the injustice. We want to wail at the hurt. We want to cry out in anger. It is the most difficult thing we can do…to be quiet in our powerlessness.
In a world where so many things seem so wrong we are often surrounded by the shouting, the wailing and the crying out in such volume and in so many different directions any action, let alone action restoring peace and justice, seem even more distant and less real in our lives. This is where our Lenten journey must begin, in the silence of the desert.
Cardinal Robert Sarah in his book, “The Power of Silence: Against the Dictatorship of Noise” writes these prophetic words, “Silence is not a form of passivity. By remaining silent, man can avoid a greater evil. It is not an earthly dereliction of duty to place your trust in Heaven.” (#289)
It is in the intimate and chaste silence where we wait for the breath of God we discover the active movement of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The silence of intimacy and chastity invites us into a deeper and fuller understanding of our call to serve in the sacrifice of love.
When I was on retreat at the beginning of the new year I spent a lot of time one afternoon praying and thinking about this gift of silence and of course my thoughts turned to baseball. I don’t know why my prayer life and baseball are so wrapped into one another but this, if you will be patient with me, is an area of minor but (at least for me) fruitful insight.
Baseball is a game of silence in many ways. Much of the communication is done without a word being spoken and more importantly, for this purpose, the in-between moments of the pitching and hitting and fielding happen in silence. But it is a silence with a purpose. As the batter awaits the next pitch his mind needs to be focused on the past and the future at the same time..as does the catcher, pitcher, fielders and those on the bench awaiting their turn at bat. In silence he, the batter, contemplates what will be as he remembers what has been to prepare for the what is happening. If he breaks the intimacy of the moment by allowing other thoughts to intrude upon what “is” he will fail to be able to act by allowing the noise of the crowd, the chatter of the infield, the thoughts of other things to distract and pervert his true course of action.
Cardinal Sarah writes, “Far from noise and easy distractions, in solitude and silence, if we are intent solely on transmitting the Divine will, it will be granted to us to see with God’s eyes and to call things as he perceives and judges them.” (#296) And this is baseball, the hitter even in chaste and intimate silence still may fail, but he will still see the fullness of the action because he has heard and seen within the silence of the game as he continues to prepare for what will be next.
This, I believe, is a good metaphor for much of our active spiritual life. Noise and distraction are to easy to fall into and way to common in our lives. Like baseball, when we loose focus on the one in front of us, when we allow ourselves to seek so many distractions, we fail to see the good being prepared for us to hit, catch and throw in the blessing of love. We live our spiritual and physical love non-intimately and unchastely because our minds are filled with the clutter of noise. It is in accepting the joy of God’s gifts for what they are and focusing on who we are that we seek to be the woman and man God created us to be. This is where we begin to live in true intimate chaste silence and the most difficult thing we can do…to be quiet in our powerlessness…becomes the most fruitful.
“How many people lose their peace because they want, at any price, to change those around them! How many married people become agitated and irritated because they would like their spouses not to have this or that fault! The Lord asks us, on the contrary, to bear with patience the faults of others. (p 55 Fr. Philippe)

God bless,
Fr. Mark

No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. [And] be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. (Eph 4:29-32)

This past week I have been watching a short video series “A Lent to Remember: A Lenten Encounter with Mercy” found our formed.org about the gift of reconciliation/forgiveness and the blessing of the Sacrament of Reconciliation through God’s grace of forgiveness. It placed before my mind the above words of Sacred Scripture from St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians. It had been a sin I had held for many years, as a young man, a Marine and filled with the words of society I used foul language a lot…I mean a lot. Especially in Marine Corps, the words were almost as natural as breathing in daily conversation. At one point in my life I knew this had to end. It was through the Sacrament of Confession, daily prayer and some wonderful help from friends that I was able to curb this foul habit in my life. I am still a sinner, and on the odd occasion I will say a word that I regret but truth be told, I can’t remember, off the golf course, the last time I used one of these swear words.
One confessor’s advice I remember and still use today with many people who confess this sin is the reality of beauty and ugliness. God desire for us is beauty and with our words we are called to place beauty in the world. We can think of the great poems and literature where words create a magical scene beyond belief, but we also know that the profane can do just he opposite. In choosing to put beauty into the world we begin to walk closer to God and do His will in the world.
That’s the good news…we can conquer sin with God’s grace, prayer and support. This is the bad news…St Paul continues on from the edict “No foul language should come out of your mouths.” That is the easy part, or at least it is for me, because while I may limit my foul language, what about “bitterness, fury, anger, shouting and reviling…with all malice” Oh how I need to go to confession again. These are the ones that are easy to justify because more often than not they are pointed directly at someone or a group of people who have “done us wrong!” These are my greater sins and the ones that need healing. I remember how this was pointed out to me during my college years at Holy Names College (now University) in Oakland. I was in my final year and one of my philosophy professors, Dr. Richard Yee, called me aside and scolded me with gentleness and compassion about my words to another student in class. He simply, in so many words, told me he expected better. It was hard to hear but also important because the malice can grow like a cancer and begin to infect so many different relationships. You can see two examples below with links to of how anger infects and ultimately can destroy the sacramental relationship of marriage.
In reality St. Paul’s challenge to the Ephesians remains our challenge today. How do we speak with kindness, compassion, gentleness, mercy and love to those around us and let go of the sins that hold us apart? During this Lenten season we may choose to “fast” from these sins and embrace the cross of love. To share in the goodwill of God for all. Fr. Jacques Philippe writes this beautiful reflection, ”Here, then, is what we mean by goodwill. It is not perfection, nor sainthood achieved, because it could well coexist without hesitations, imperfections and even faults. But it is the way, because it is just this habitual disposition of heart (whose foundation is found in the virtues of faith hope and love), which permits the grace of God to carry us, little by little, toward perfection.” (p 17, “Searching for and Maintaining Peace)
God Bless
Fr. Mark

www.formed.org (see parish website for free code) yes FREE CODE

The 7 phases of anger in marriage

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/whats-destroying-some-catholic-marriages-the-answer-may-surprise-you-57498

Next Wednesday is a day of love, Valentine’s Day, but there is an even deeper love that will be celebrated, the first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday where the sacrificial love of God’s gift of peace and reconciliation becomes a reality in our life. We are also in the middle of “National Marriage Week” where we celebrate the unity of love between husband and wife in the sacramental union of relationship. In other words, love is certainly overflowing these next few days. And if this was not enough, this weekend I will be presenting a Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend and then Monday evening will be a presentation to our Catechumens on the Sacrament of Marriage.
So, the theme of this reflection is on reconciliation and confession. You may at this point be shaking your head and asking, “Why not love?” This is a legitimate and good question. My simple answer is the gift of love must alway be rooted in the forgiveness of the other because we are sinners. My love of the Church, and I do love the Church, is always grounded in that we are a collections of saints and sinners and the “saint” part of me must always be willing to forgive the “sinner” part of me and our Holy Church. Because the Sacraments of community and relationship, Matrimony and Holy Orders, are always focused towards an other. The Other being firstly God through whom we see our beloved spouse. And God gives us the great Sacrament of Healing, Reconciliation, so that we might see each other as God sees us.
This is one of the great acts of love we can share, and as noted above, if we are able to see Lent as a movement of sacrificial love, then we are able to move toward the other in compassion, mercy and forgiveness.
The Lenten discipline we practice as Catholic Christians is to empty ourselves from the “stuff” that does not allow love to rest deeply in our hearts and to allow the other in or life to envelop us in tenderness and care. This can often mean we have to let go of hurts and sins we are holding on too out of fear our hardness of heart. And this can and is hard to do…which is why we have the help of God and His Church in the gift of reconciliation and confession.
I remember several years ago as we were preparing for first Reconciliation with a group of children, one parent came up and said how her child was looking forward to the Sacrament. I can remember the little boy coming and plopping himself down in the chair and going through the ritual greeting with clarity and joy and then confessing his sins, but especially one that he added at the end, “I hope God forgives me.” I assured him God did forgive and while I don’t remember the exact sin, I do know that it was very small and minor and the scale of seriousness but for this little boy it was a barrier in loving God and his family. (And believe it or not, this same basic conversation and confession happens many times each year) But the point I wish you to pray about is for some of us, we can say the phrase, “I’m a good person,” which is true, “why do I need confession?”
We all need the Sacrament of Healing so we may move closer to God. I am glad when people come in and confess only “minor” sins and not “grave” matter, but I always remind them that these small sins can begin to build up and need to be forgiven in the grace filled moment of reconciliation, which brings us back to relationship and love.
The great evangelist, Bishop Fulton Sheen, reminds us of our need for healing and reconciliation when he wrote, “Our Lord is telling us that it is never enough to be free from the powers of evil; we must also be subject to the power of the good. The elimination of an ego does not necessarily imply that happiness of the I, unless the I, in its turn, lives by a higher spirit of love.”
I would encourage you during the Lenten season to make us of the Sacrament of Reconciliation as an act of sacrificial love.
God Bless
Fr. Mark

The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you–O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Sam 18:33)

This reading came to us in our daily Mass readings this week and each and every time I hear David cry out in pain and sorrow I hear the cry of God for us, his children. It also reminds me of an experience heard many times in the petitions of Mass and the prayers of the people. When I was first ordained an elderly gentleman, a daily Mass attendee, would have a simple petition each day, “For my son to come back to the Church.” It was said gently and with love each day but there was also the pain and sorrow of “O my son Absalom!”
If you don’t remember the story of David and Absalom a quick recap. Absalom, one of David’s sons, choose to rebel against his father and usurp the throne. David needed to flee his palace in Jerusalem and then enter into battle with the forces loyal Absalom. During the battle Absalom is slain and when the news reaches David, we hear the above lament. When the soldiers loyal to David hear of their king’s sorrow, Samuel tells us, “Then it was told Joab, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourns for Absalom.” The victory that day was turned to mourning for all the people, for the people heard it said that day, “The king is grieved for his son.” (2 Sam 19:1-2)
Each parent, each husband or wife, each friend has felt at one time the betrayal of love that David suffers today and often we can cry out that we wished it had rather been us who suffered the pains of the other, out of love, rather than see them go through the pain…and yet we cannot.
I believe we can learn two very simple moments from the David’s story and the gift of relationship and the suffering for the other.
First, we cannot prevent the suffering of the other but we can love the other. Each person, especially parents, come quickly to the understanding that other people, including those we love the most will make mistakes, have bad choices and walk away from good things. There are also the illness and misfortunes of life that come upon us and others where we suffer these consequences.
God asks us not to suffer in silence. Sacred Scripture is chock full of examples of crying out to God for the suffering being endured. We too are invited into this same cry as we direct our prayers and pleas to God. When my Dad died, I was in my early twenties. He died of a heart attack. When he had his first heart attack I was only 15 years old. My Dad continued to smoke and chew tobacco even though he knew it was harmful and would shorten his life. I spent years before and after his death crying out in anger to God and anyone who would listen. As family and friends loved me through my pain slowly but surely my anger and the bad choices I made because of this anger disappeared and moved in a healthier direction.
Second, we will feel the pain of loss and hurt but we are called to stand with Jesus in suffering with the other. I recently listened to a recorded talk by Kimberly Hahn on formed.org about “Our Lady of Sorrows” (I would highly recommend it to everyone) In it she talked about her conversion to the Catholic Church and the pain it caused her family and the rejection she felt from many of them. She talked bout how in the example of Mary we cannot take away the suffering but in love we are called to share in the suffering.
As family members make choices that hurt themselves and others, we are called, not to condone the choices, rather we are invited to give the example of love in encouraging and being with them in their broken-heartedness and to reach out in love. We can only do knowing and loving God through the example of the saints, Our Blessed Mother in particular, allowing the suffering of Jesus to heal our wounds.
We are reminded after the battle David as king chose to seek reconciliation and not retribution to those who had rebelled against him. Seeking the reconciliation of hurt allows us to cry out in grief and love seeking to live always in the peace of Christ…a peace that heals and renews our hearts.
God bless.
Fr. Mark

“To modern men and women, often dissatisfied with a shallow and ephemeral existence, and in search of authentic happiness and love, Christ offers his own example and issues the invitation to follow Him.He asks those who hear his voice to give their lives for others. This sacrifice is a source of self-fulfillment and joy, as is seen in the eloquent example of those men and women who, leaving all security behind, have not hesitated to risk their lives as missionaries in different parts of the world. It can also be seen in the response of those young people who, prompted by faith, have embraced a vocation to the priesthood or the religious life in order to serve God’s plan of salvation.
—John Paul II, Holy Father’s Message for Lent, 2003

Don’t you ever get bored? This was a question a young person asked me recently when we were talking about what I do as a priest. I was sharing my normal duties and was asked this very reasonable question. He was wondering about the number of times I celebrated Mass each week, the time in prayer I spend each day and the other sacramental duties I have at the parish. For him, looking from the outside, it seemed a bit tedious and repetitious and yes boring.
We can all guess at my answer to his question. From the inside…my life, my ministry and my vocations is not boring. Yes, there may be days when I feel a bit tired and not fully engaged…I am a human being…and there are other days when I may be disengaged or frustrated with things…I am a sinner…but I am never bored.
Let’s begin with the Mass…am I ever bored? No. Why? Simply put, because it is an act of love. I can honestly say that as a child and young man I may have found the Mass a tad bit boring because I did not understand what was going on and often was not fully participating in the Mass. This all began to change in college and then at St. Bonaventure Mission in New Mexico when I started to go not just to Sunday Mass but also the occasional weekday Mass. I began to listen to the prayers at Mass. I began to read the Sacred Scripture in preparation for Mass. And I even began to listen to the homily with a little more attention. What I soon discovered was, while many of the prayers and words at each celebration of the Mass were the exact same words and prayers from the day before they led me to a different place and focused me on a different and new aspect of God’s love and will in my life. And as this occurred, I began to find the Mass not boring but on the contrary to be something that I looked forward too over and over again.
And this love of the Mass eventually led me to the priesthood. But don’t misunderstand me, many men and women attend daily Mass, don’t find it boring, and are not called to the consecrated religious life or priesthood.
As a priest I celebrate Mass daily and often several times each day with funerals, weddings and other occasions of joy in our Catholic Church but I am never bored. Why? Because each celebration is an act of love, an act of generosity and an act of serving others as God calls us to be servants. Each time I encounter the prayers of the Mass I discover ever more deeply the voice of God reminding me to seek Him with joy in my brothers and sisters. As I encounter Christ in the congregation I see each member of the Body of Christ differently with their blessings and crosses reminding me of Jesus’ invitation to seek him in the most vulnerable and those who challenge my comfortableness in life. It is the daily encounter with the Word, Jesus Christ, in hearing and proclaiming…often wondering…how God uses even brokenness to shine forth his glory and grace.
I could write about prayer in the same way with my daily Holy Hour, the recitation of Breviary, the Rosary which, once more, from the outside seem the same boring words, but when done in love become an act of healing and grace as we encounter the living Word, Jesus Christ, in all that we do.
Our faith and vocation, whether it be as a priest, religious sister or brother, married as husband and wife, in the single state or growing and preparing for our true vocation is never boring and when we seek to encounter Jesus, who is the center of our faith, we will discover more depth and joy than we had ever dreamed possible. Because the boredom comes when we begin to do our work in the expectation of receiving first rather than choosing to give in generosity simply as an act of love.
Is my life, my ministry, my vocation boring? Nope…because encountering Jesus daily in his Holy Catholic Church is a deeper joy and a more profound peace and greater blessing than I have ever dreamed possible.
God bless and pray for vocations.
Fr. Mark

“I led them with cords of compassion, with the bands of love” (Hosea 11:4) Trans RSV

On retreat last week, our Spiritual Director, Fr. Thomas shared the above quote with us and asked us to pray with it (and several others) as we moved forward in our time of silence and contemplation. When I opened my Bible to read the quote surrounded by the text I read, “I drew them with human cords, with bands of love.” (Hosea 11:4) Translation does make a difference. I would invite you to read the whole of Chapter 11 from the Prophet Hosea is a beautiful lament to love, especially for parents to their children.
When I read, “cords of compassion” and the second translation of “human cords” it reminded me of the call of mercy and love our God offers to us and how we are called to be compassion and love to one another in the human joy of relationship. All of these thoughts, prayers and memories of joy-filled love brought me back to my ordination day and the Bible quote from my holy card, “I am bound by the vows I have made, God, I will pay the debt of thanks, for you have saved my life from death.” (Ps 56:12) It sparked the grace of remembering, I am bound not by whipcords of anger and chains of frustration but by compassion and love, I am bound by a free choice to live gently within love as my bride, the Church, cares for me as I am called to care for her. It is something I too often forget in the “work” of ministry and the task of the day.
This small quote asked me to remember where the “cords of compassion” that bind me are and who are the “bands of love” filling my ministry with hope and mercy. I remember the cord of compassion offered by my first principal, Sr. Michelle, at Blessed Tekakwitha Academy in Thoreau New Mexico before my first day of teaching with the beautiful words, “Love them and you will do just fine.” This cord has led me to depths of joy I had never imagined and have bound me to serve others with care and devotion. A band is the memory of my brother priest, Fr. Caleb, standing next to me as I celebrated the funeral Mass for my younger brother Mitch. The simple prayerful presence, the courage offered bound me in graceful blessing and strengthened me to do what was unthinkable and impossible without this band of love. It is the cord and band of my fellow co-workers in the Worldwide Marriage Encounter Movement seeking to live out the compassion and love that truly bind us to our sacred vows in their marriages. It is the learning how my priesthood is united in their sacramental love and union and how in the great cord of compassion we are each enriched in our call to serve God as faithful followers of Jesus Christ. And I could go on with endless lists of these cords and bands that have enriched my priesthood and my life as a Catholic.
Ultimately it is choosing to see beyond the momentary hurts and into the lasting eternal passion of God’s gift of life and love offered with boundless blessing. It is seeking to allow the bonds of compassion and bands of love to heal the hurts and free us from the whipcords and chains of spiraling sin that offers only isolation and destruction. And this is why we all need to take time with God and with our beloved to remember how graced our lives are in unity with one another. (Please see the Marriage Encounter plug below) It is good to be silent, to reflect, to write and remember the blessings we share. I chose once more on my retreat this year to write a Litany of Thanksgiving modeled after Psalm 136 where each line ends with the words, “for His love endures forever.” This litany was filled with th vow I have made to God and to you and where cords of compassion and bands of love grow ever more gently in the service of grace.
God bless,
Fr. Mark

Lent is right around the corner and we are all called to prayer, fasting and alms-giving each year. Why not start a little early and fill each of these disciplines with the love of your spouse…Feb 9-11 are the dates….the blessings are many as the resolutions and promises of Lent will be filled with loving sacrifice and incredible grace filling you marriage with the greatness of God’s love.
https://sanjosewwme.org/

Come join me and other remarkable couples in the journey of a life-time.

“The sanctity of married life is not something that takes place alongside of marriage, but by and through marriage. The vocation to marriage is a vocation to happiness, which comes through holiness and sanctity. Unity of two in one flesh is not something the God tolerates but something that He wills.” (Bishop Fulton Sheen)

A Pope, a Bishop and a Priest

Life, Love and Chidren

It’s as natural as the birds and the bees…there’s a new world out there…here we go again. The Catholic Church believes in marriage. The Catholic Church believes in children. The Catholic Church believes and hopes for the blessing of children in happy and holy marriages. But there is a deep and dark secret…the Catholic Church does not always act on the words of encouragement in supporting families, especially young married families with children.
This is where the missionary work of Marriage Encounter and other groups of lay faithful find the great struggle: how can we proclaim the joy and fruitfulness of marriage and be turned away? We can point to countless first hand and antidotal examples as well as a plethora of written work of young families who have been shut out of the life of the Church as they search for God within their families. It is often only the very brave and very persistent who make it through this gauntlet of rejection. Pope Francis understood this when he issued the challenger in “Amoris Laetitia” “The Church is called to cooperate with parents…She must always do this by helping them to appreciate their proper role and to realize that by their reception of the sacrament of marriage they become ministers of their children’s education.” (#85 AL) Do we believe this?
As a parish priest and a presenting priest for Marriage Encounter I walk the line of hypocrisy all the time. I often talk the talk without seeking the resources in my own parish to walk the walk. We know through our experience of the weekend that couples who seek God in their relationships are happier and holier, thus better spouses, better parents and member of the greater community. Each of us can testify to this in our own sacramental relationship. We know this is the best and most fruitful path for all married couples because we know God wants this blessing in world. Bishop Fulton Sheen writes about the cycles of love moving back and forth that find the grace of God they only true answer, “In family life, in like manner, two hearts do not move on a roadway to a happier love, rather every now and then they seem to be on the brink of losing their love, only to find it on a higher level. ” (p 154 GM)
We know that happy, holy and emotionally healthy couples make great marriages, great parents and fruitful members of our Church community. We also know the huge and constant struggle to convince the Church and couples that this is indeed true. In the Sacrament of Reconciliation I will often hear both husband and wife confess and know that their actions as well as those of their spouse are bringing injury into their “little church” and yet to even open their eyes to the possibility of a Weekend is more daunting than I had ever imagined.
We all know the excuses as we try and remind them of Fr. Gallagher great advice, the “We are not isolated entities. Human fulfillment and satisfaction in life cannot be defined merely in achievement of individual goals.” (p 26 ME) So how do we continue to invite and invite and invite…it is by doing this very small but evangelical ministry of invitation were we engage joyfully in the missionary ministry of the Church. It is not hopeless work but rather faithful work even in the most trying moments. It is the reminder that I take to heart over and over again when I look upon the photo of the two great modern saints, John Paul II and Theresa of Calcutta standing together with eyes alight, smiles of whimsy and grace showing forth the joy the Gospel resonating with love.
If we show this face, this heart and this soul then, even when the Church says come back later, the couples deny the time needed and our Marriage Encounter community struggles, we will know with joy the work of God we are doing within the brokenness of the world.

“Amoris Laetitia: The Joy of Love” Pope Francis (2016) (AL)

“The Marriage Encounter” Fr. Chuck Gallagher, SJ (1975) (ME)

“Three to Get Married” Bishop Fulton Sheen (1951) (GM)

“The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage” Dr. Allen Hunt (2015) (USM)

“Love Is Our Family: The Family Fully Alive” USCCB (2014) (LOF)

As I wrote last week, I am away on my yearly priest retreat. I thank you all for the prayers that have been pouring down upon me and my bother priests this week. I am, of course, writing in advance because I am living the silent gift of retreat, so this reflection is one of hope for a fruitful retreat filled with many spiritual gifts.
Cardinal Sarah reminds us that we are called to be gifts to the other. It is a choice to love sacrificially in donation of self to the other, God first and we to follow. As I have noted before, the gift of silence in hearing God is to stand gently in the presence of God. When the prophet Elijah was confronted with the silence of God, he came out of the cave when the noise of the world had passed and stood listening to the gentle soft call of the Lord. (1 Kings 19:11-14) This is the choice we are all called to make, “The choice of silence is their gift for humanity. The men and women who enter into the silence offer themselves as a holocaust for their brethren. The exterior world is like an overflowing river running down a slope and threatening to smash everything in its path. In order to control this force, it is necessary to build dikes. And silence is this powerful dike the controls the tumultuous waters of the world and protects from noises and distractions of all sorts. Silence is a dam that restore a kind of dignity to mankind.” (#109 “The Power of Silence” Robert Cardinal Sarah)
The holocaust of life is the spending of our lives in service of the other. To allow ourselves to become buffers for others against the temptations and sins of life in choosing the vocation of holiness. This is the path of life where we choose to embrace the cross in hopeful joy, a cross that offers us the Eucharist of life drawing closer to God and our sisters and brothers. “The way of perfection passes by way of the cross. There is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle. Spiritual progress entails the ascesis and mortification that gradually lead to living the peace and joy of the Beatitudes.” (CCC #2015) Like anything worthwhile, the discipline and effort required for a holy life needs a foundation of time and spiritual works. This is a path each Christian needs to follow. The life of spiritual progress does entail the small battles of being to tired, distracted or to lazy to do our daily prayers. It may be a greater battle of the teenager/or adult that is refusing to go to Mass tempts us to stay away and is dragging the family away from God’s love. It can even be greater battles where Satan seeks to rupture the unity of family and community through grave and mortal sin. These battles are real and need to be taken seriously so we may know the way and return to God’s healing silence when we have fallen.
If we don’t know and take time with God in fighting the battles of holiness then what Cardinal Sarah writes becomes reality unless we take up our cross daily and follow Him. “Persons who live in noise are like dust swept along by the wind They are slaves of a turmoil that destroys their relationships with God. On the other hand, those who love silence and solitude walk step by step toward God; they know how to break the vicious circles of noise, like animal tamers who manage to calm roaring lions.” (#110 “The Power of Silence” Robert Cardinal Sarah)
This is the hope for each and every Christian: to be in silence with God. Take time to retreat into silence as an individual, married couple and even the whole family. Take time daily and weekly to set aside quiet time, as an individual, married couple and family to silence the house and focus on God through prayer and love. Take time to pray for those around us, family, friend, neighbor, stranger or enemy to place them in the silence of God’s love.
Once more, thank you for your prayers of blessing…I can assure you that I will hear them in the silence of God’s love. See you in the Eucharist.

God Bless
Fr. Mark