Some Marriage talk…

A Parent Who Prays by Katie Warner Self-Awareness—What makes us, us? Knowing our self takes time of contemplation and trust in God unique gifts given and shared, not to separate but to unite in a connectedness. Some of these thoughts come form “Discipleship Parenting” by Kim Cameron-Smith

A Parent Who Prays by Katie Warner Goodness, a sign of seeking the better and knowing the better in each other. Goodness grows in relationship and trust in who we are and what we say a do.

Psalm 23:6 “Surely goodness and kindness follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.”

A couple of weeks ago, I reflected on the role of the family in the passing on of the faith to our children and how the Church is called to support this role. Pope St. John Paul II very early on, as one of his first Apostolic Exhortations “Familiaris Consortio” (On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World) wrote about how important the family was to God’s plan for salvation but also for the growth in goodness and holiness in the world.

I love my family deeply and am always filled with joy and gratitude in remembering how my parents helped to pass on our Catholic faith…imperfectly at times…and yes not always with joy…but in a manner where the love of God seemed to underly our actions. And while we did attend our catechism classes and go to Sunday Mass without fail we also were surrounded in the home and extended family with a culture and trust in God. I can remember how as a little boy I would watch Dad take a handful of soil and look at it, feel it and trust the seeds to be planted would be nourished by the rain and sun needed. It takes faith to be a farmer. It is something I am always amazed at and still find myself in awe of when speaking to friends and family who still farm.
St. John Paul II understood this aspect of faith and the great trust needed for the Church to take the soil of faith hand it on to the family to nurture, plant and grow thirty, sixty or a hundredfold. (Mt 13:8)
If the mission of the Church is to bear great fruit, to become the abundant harvest then, as St. John Paul II writes, “The Christian family is called upon to take part actively and responsibly in the mission of the Church in a way that is original and specific, by placing itself, in what it is and what it does as an “intimate community of life and love,” at the service of the Church and of society. (#50) The family must be a place where acts of charity, works of mercy and bonds of love are forged and strengthen through the daily blessing of a living faith founded on prayer infused in all moments of our family life.
Conforming our lives to Jesus’ witness to love we share in the mission of salvation of souls, “As a sharer in the life and mission of the Church, which listens to the word of God with reverence and proclaims it confidently, the Christian family fulfills its prophetic role by welcoming and announcing the word of God: it thus becomes more and more each day a believing and evangelizing community” (#51) Following this teaching, Pope Benedict XVI reminded us that evangelization must first begin in the home before it will succeed elsewhere. It is a challenge of listening to the doubts and fears of each other, especially our children and most especially those who have fallen away from the practice of the faith. It is being open to life in the trust and blessing of God’s goodness where choosing to speak about God’s love and mercy becomes part of our everyday language, not as preaching but as living word.

“To the extent in which the Christian family accepts the Gospel and matures in faith, it becomes an evangelizing community. Let us listen again to Paul VI: “The family, like the Church, ought to be a place where the Gospel is transmitted and from which the Gospel radiates. … The parents not only communicate the Gospel to their children, but from their children they can themselves receive the same Gospel as deeply lived by them. And such a family becomes the evangelizer of many other families, and of the neighborhood of which it forms part (#52) Our homes as true domestic churches become havens of life and joy. During this time when many of us are more isolated and alone than is natural, radiating this love is more difficult and yet the rhythm of our lives surrounded by the liturgical gifts of our faith help us to understand God’s will of being workers in the vineyard.
St. John Paul II reminds us the virtue of Christian parenting isn’t something beyond our ability, it is simply and intentionally remembering to recognize Jesus in one another. “The ministry of evangelization carried out by Christian parents is original and irreplaceable. It assumes the characteristics typical of family life itself, which should be interwoven with love, simplicity, practicality and daily witness.” (#53) We are all called to witness daily and it begins with a simple “AMEN.”
God bless
Fr. Mark

This week our Church celebrated the Feast of St. Clare, the co-patroness of our Diocese (San Jose). A disciple of St. Francis of Assisi she was the founder of the Poor Clare Sisters. (A little internet research shows there are four different branches) In the Diocese of San Jose we have one of their houses Poor Clare Colettines of Immaculate Heart Monastery located in the Los Altos Hills. One of the most famous St. Clare stories her repelling the soldiers assaulting the city by raising the ciborium containing the Blessed Sacrament and immediately the soldiers fled and retreated from the city. Her trust in the power of the Blessed Sacrament, the real presence of Jesus was not just shown that evening but was a constant in her life of prayer and devotion.

In remembering St. Clare I am reminded of the prayer for Venerable Pablo Maria Guzman’s where we pray, “with absolute confidence in the power of the Eucharist in all circumstances of his life” Why am I talking about these two holy and wonderful followers of Jesus Christ? First and foremost it is the belief, trust and love of Jesus Christ and their hope in a world that is more and more reflective of Jesus’ call to holiness. But with that is the reminder of the times and difficulties both St. Clare and Venerable Pablo Maria lived in during their lives. They were surrounded by wars, violence, turbulent riots, protests, persecutions and the silencing of voices. Does this sound familiar? Caught in the struggle for power each of these holy disciples focussed on Jesus and brought others closer to Him by their examples of a holy life. In many ways we too are caught in this same struggle: St. Clare with warfare and the laxity of faith and Venerable Pablo Maria living through the persecutions of the Catholic Church in Mexico through much of his life. We too must be like them and turn our focus towards our Lord who will lead and guide us through these times.
What can we do? The simple answer, as you know if you have read me before, is prayer. In fact it is the only answer because it is the example of Jesus in his own life on earth. Especially during this time when we are restricted from full worship, where are gatherings are limited and even the joyful noise of song has been taken from our mouths, the coming to the Eucharist, both in presence and in spiritual communion is the foundation of how we are called to be with God and the Church to become the agents of change in the hope of a world founded on God’s love.

Practically speaking it is remembering and refocusing our daily lives. As we hear during this time of quarantine, shelter-in-place and restrictions has born much fruit in many families and individuals but we also know the pain and suffering and the hurt that is a reality to many of our sisters and brothers. Like St. Clare and Venerable Pablo Maria, our prayers, our refocussing on the Eucharistic love God pours out upon does, will not end the craziness and suffering of our time, just as it did not take away the violence of war and persecution in their time. But it does begin to draw us and others closer to a place where the lion will lie with the lamb, rather than the acts of violence and voices of hatred screamed toward the other. It does mean our passions will be directed towards the virtues of Christian witness and the call to conversion in Jesus Christ and to be turned from destruction and the cancelling of life. It will mean the peace Jesus offers will reign in our hearts where we are then able to love our neighbor, even when it is hard, because we see the world as a place grace and abundance in God’s divine providence.
God Bless
Fr. Mark

I would encourage everyone to read and learn more about St. Clare and her remarkable life on formed.org

https://watch.formed.org/carousel/videos/formed-now-st-clare-of-assisi

https://watch.formed.org/clare-and-francis

If you are a young woman who feels drawn to a life of prayer and service I would encourage you to talk to the Poor Clare’s or other religious congregations. If you don’t know where to look, give me a call and I will help you.

https://cloisteredlife.com/directory/los-altos-hills

A Parent Who Prays by Katie Warner Independence…How do help our children grow into independent adults capable of making moral decisions? How do we learn to listen and ask questions that help to form a conscience called to holiness?

“If I could only hold God in my mind. If I could only always just think of Him.” (Flannery O’Connor)

Wash, rinse and repeat! This seems to be where we are at again and again but we are making progress. One of the things that has been on my mind a lot as of late, is how we are going to pass on the faith to our young people in this time when meeting and praying together has become so difficult. We all know, as Catholics, the first and best teachers of the faith are parents and families. We pray this every time we baptize a child and yet we also know this is not easy and mothers and fathers need support, assistance and guidance in this work. The godparents and the community at large promises to support them as the Body of Christ but it remains always the work of the parents to complete the sharing of the faith by their works, words and relationship with God.
So here is a brief reflection on three books I have looking at, re-reading and thinking over on how this will help us help our families to grow in the love and knowledge of God.
First, “Discipleship Parenting” by Kim Cameron-Smith…she writes in the introduction “It’s important for us to remember at the first disciples––Jesus’ inner circle of twelve—wanted to be taught. They wanted to follow him; he didn’t kidnap them! The disciples watched Jesus: the observed how he prayed, how he paced his life, how he interacted with the people of many different walks of life, and how he responded to challenges from the authorities.… If we have any hope of evangelizing them, our children have to want to follow us. They must be comfortable turning to us for help and clarity like Jesus is friends turned to him.” (p 19-20) It’s a long quote but she says it much better than I can. Young people gravitate to passion, joy and hopefulness. Do we radiate that in our lives? Many children follow in the footsteps of the parents’ career because of the passion, joy and satisfaction their parents give in example to their work. Do we share this same passion in our faith life? That’s the question we should all be asking. You don’t have to know everything…you as a parent can learn and grow too…but passion and love must radiate from our faith in order for young people to “want to be taught” and believe what they are being taught.

Second, “How to Catholic Family” by Tommy and Karen Tighe “A simple way to begin celebrating the lives of the saints is to choose saints who are connected to your family in someway. Celebrate their feast specifically.… Take time, as a family, to explore exactly why you feel close to a saint.”(p 77) Pre COVID-19 I gave this book to parents preparing for the Baptism of their children. I love this book because it reminds me of how I grew up and how much of my life was surround by Catholic stuff. Sadly, we don’t live in a Catholic Culture anymore so families must intentionally choose to “be Catholic” in the world. One of the simplest ways is the saints. They are there just for us and many have fascinating stories that are much better than any fictional thriller or fantasy offered today. As the Tighe’s suggest, start simple by looking at the family tree and begin with names that are familiar. You will soon learn more than you thought possible. This is the blessing of the internet…so many saints at your fingertips…but I would also recommend the old school book on the lives of the saints and see your children be surrounded with the prayers of the communion of saints in heaven.
Lastly, “The Contagious Catholic” by Marcel LeJeune “All kids grow up. Directing that growth is up to the parents. Our goal as parents should be helping our children become responsible adults who can make wise decisions on their own.”(p. 114– 115) Living the faith is so very important as an example…it is the exposing of the truth of who we are. When we live the “do as I say and not as I do” life of faith, not only are we endangering our eternal soul but that of our spouse, children and entire family. When we intentionally talk with others about our faith in Jesus Christ and live this faith with joy, passion and hopefulness then we will see others join us in the journey as those first twelve joined Jesus and brought others to the joy of the Gospel.
God bless
Fr. Mark

A Parent Who Prays: Solicitude by Katie Warner, What would my day look like if I simply honored Jesus in every person I met? Solicitude is the remedy for envy…we are called by God not to see others as objects but as blessings to nurture and care for in helping us grow in holiness.

A Parent Who Prays: the gift of Counsel by Katie Warner Counsel always begins with listening and leads us to truth which is God’s love and mercy. How do we model good counsel in our lives?

Come Holy Spirit: teach me when to sit still and when to be active.
Each morning in prayer I end my holy hour with a brief verse from Sacred Scripture followed by a small reflection and a phrase, like the one above, to ponder throughout the day. These past few weeks as we have stopped and started, planned and unplanned and replanned, as we have sought to make lemonade from the lemons this has been a very difficult question to answer: When do I sit and when am I called to be active?

“No one can stay in any golden moment, and no more will I let any trick of light betray me to a house that is nothing but a door.” (Jessica Powers from Songs Out of Silence ”No One Can Stay”) To sit and be active must remain in constant harmony in our lives. When we sit to long their becomes a frozenness hindering us from moving forward and when we fail to stop, slow down and ponder we miss the small beauties and blessings enriching the moment with love. Our life of faith must follow the joys and blessings shown in the example Jesus where even as died on the cross he looked toward the gift of life God shares with each of us. The short verse from Jessica Powers (Sr. Miriam of the Holy Spirit) is a reminder, all contemplative prayer must end with a choosing to seek greater and more glorious. The trick is when we have a worldly view of “great and glorious” and miss the small treasure placed before us. This is especially found in our families and circles of friends when the “great and glorious” is a shared smile, a touch or the gift of presence acknowledged and lifted to God. The betrayal of the door is the leaving behind the golden moments in search of the glory of the world the never satisfies the heart made for love. It is choosing to do the once simple act of love, blessing another with Jesus’ presence by becoming a blessing in life.
And this is not easy. Flannery O’Connor shares this recognition of how hope does not me an absence of troubles or suffering but rather the blessing of life, but at the same time knowing there is always a struggle in the seeking of hope.

“Dear God, About hope, I am somewhat at a loss. Is so easy to say I hope to––the tongue slides over it. I think perhaps hope can only be realized by contrasting it with despair. And I am too lazy to despair. Please don’t visit me with it, dear Lord, I would be so miserable.” (Flannery O’Connor from “A Prayer Journal” p. 17) How often I have often said a similar prayer. I am by nature a pretty hopeful and optimistic person and despair doesn’t creep into my thoughts that often but the struggle of the virtue of hope is real. Choosing to sit in hopefulness doesn’t mean we abandon the active pursuit of the good and holy. God has called us to be a pilgrim people, a people on the move seeking the justice and peace on which hope must rest. It’s easy to allow hope to be a destination rather than the locomotive moving us toward our true destination. It doesn’t mean I am running about aimlessly “hoping” but it does mean I am choosing to reach out and touch the other.
Before the quarantine I remember after Mass talking to a family and their almost walking baby crawled up to her father. She looked up in the hope of being gathered into his arms…when that didn’t occur she pulled herself up by his pant legs…when he still didn’t pick her up she reached as high as she could, arms above her head on the tip of her toes. This image reminds of the verse quoted below: we could be satisfied by the things of the earth, but God has made us for so much more. “God seeks a heart with bold and boundless hungers that sees itself and the earth as paltry stuff; God loves a soul that cast down all He gave it and stands and cries that it was not enough.” (Jessica Powers, from Songs Out of Silence “The Second Giving”) Each of us as we sit and as we go forth enter into a conversation of grace with God where in thanksgiving for all we have we see the place God has prepared for us filled with not the things of the earth but the love of the heavens: the warm embrace of a spouse, the laughter of a child, the gift of time shared abundantly. To sit and to be active in love is to be in the intimate, joyful and grace filled relationship with the other, with God and his holy people.
How do we do this…it’s always changing and always the same…the humbleness of the cross.
God Bless
Fr. Mark